


Take Me Back

by GoldenQueenx



Series: Drink You In [1]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Appretice Regina, Blood, Broken nose, F/M, Goldenqueen, Healing, I am new to fanfic, Magic, Sex, Smut, Teacher-Student Relationship, after henry left, beginning, knife, season 7, so I'm unsure what to tag with
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-09
Updated: 2017-10-14
Packaged: 2019-01-15 04:15:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 26,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12313572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GoldenQueenx/pseuds/GoldenQueenx
Summary: I am bad at summaries. Set after Henry leaves in the Season 7 preview. Regina feels that familiar hole in her heart and decides to take comfort inside of a familiar place; her vault. There she finds a chest containing things she had forgotten that she had kept long ago. Someone else wanted her to find it. Rated M for detailed smut. As well as other mature mentions. GoldenQueen.





	1. Feathers

**Author's Note:**

> Set after S7 sneak peek where Regina says goodbye to Henry.
> 
> Characters mentioned here and all mention of anything from the Once Upon A Time series do not belong to me. They belong to the minds of the original creators.
> 
> I might have (I very much did) added some prompts into this that I found on Tumblr (fuckyeahgoldenqueen) - this is for the ENTIRE story, not this chapter only. I apologize if they seem OOC, but after alot of research and rewatching, I tried my best. I'm new to fanfiction, somewhat. I'm not used to writing for other characters that aren't my own. I'm also not used to third person either, usually prefer first but I felt third would be the best for this. It's complete in all senses. I just thought I would publish a chapter or so at a time. However, I might make oneshots that are based off of this ficlet. Or referenced in this ficlet [?] (I already have two one-shots that are referenced in here written, just not uploaded yet).
> 
> This was written before S7, so anything ooc in that aspect is my bad as I didn't wait for the new season to air before writing. I have seen seasons 1-6, so all characters in here are based on the most recent or flashbacks given. I should have put it in better chapters, but some memories ran a little short, so I had to put mulitple in there sometimes. There will be smut, so I have the story set as M. And also little mature bits throughout. Memories are NOT in order.
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

The problem with happy endings isn't in the 'what comes next', its in every thread of a second after - when you're left wondering how to hold onto it. But if you hold on too tight, that thread that had barely even been there to begin with will snap like a vine beneath the weight of your own, unknowingly vice like, grasp. Sure, you could try to hold it delicately but the longer you try, the tighter your grip becomes before you completely loose sight of why you even thought you could hold on to it in the first place.

All of that described Regina Mills. After ridding herself of her darker half, The Evil Queen, she went on a both metaphorical and literal road of discovery. The Evil Queen and Regina Mills, to her astonishment, were one and the same. After splitting their hearts and leveling out the good with the bad; she had proven she accepted both sides of her. No matter how dark or light, she would forever contain both with the same determination she had to grasp the good in the first place. But that didn't mean she would keep her happy ending of finally being seen as something other than The Evil Queen. Because that isn't all someone needs to happy. Especially her.

She could feel the cold chill of a familiar feeling long since forgotten running through her like magic, like the first time she ever had a taste. The time when she played with the wand she wasn't supposed to play with in the first place. Only this time, it wasn't going to try to kill her. This time it dared spark at her fingertips and fizzle out like tapping jumper cables.

Lonely. Everyone's happy endings seemed to stretch on regardless of hers leaving another gaping hole in her heart. Henry was gone. Having left to find his own happy ending. Sure she knew it would happen sooner or later. After all, that is what children do. They grow up and seek adventure they can no longer find within the nurturing walls of their home. Hadn't she done just that? Forced out was more like it. Her Mother having been the start of it all, the one driving force for her to find some way out. Freedom and vengeance had begun her first call to her master, the one who taught her everything.

The Charmings were expecting their third child. Nothing could fill their little hearts more than family and of course make up for the missing time they had with Emma. The dwarfs were back to their usual work so they weren't really talking to her, not that she really cared that much about conversation about mines and fairy dust or whatever else they would bring up back at Grannys after a hard days work. Hook and Emma had decided to take a trip around the world on his ship, hell even The Evil Queen had her happy ending. One that really and truly should have been hers. Marrying Robin Hood.

Dusk had fallen among the graveyard, the trees casting shadows on the ground as Regina Mills made her way towards the Mills Mausoleum. A chill bit at her skin, prickling at her cheeks causing her to wrap her own arms around herself. Waving a wrist, the door opened and allowed her passage. She hadn't been inside of here in, truthfully, months. The dust stirring as the moonlight pushed past her and into the confines of the stone room. Looking at the tomb in the middle of the room now, she felt a pang of sadness build in her chest. So much had happened to her and those who orbited the Queen since the first curse. Sentimentality be damned as she waved another hand to make room for her to ascend the stars down into the one room she had come to see, candles spurring to life in her wake.

Her heels clicked against the vault floor, causing an echo and vibration to pulse through her, as she landed in the one room that housed everything she held dear from The Enchanted Forest. The very sound and reverberation of her steps resonating in her frame like that of a memory pushing to the surface. The floors of a castle in a moment long ago. Moments where she endured the heaviness in her heart after marrying someone she didn't love, the scar her mother left that turned into the size of two entire worlds or more. The revenge over who she had thought at the time had been her one true love, Daniel. She had held onto that simmering rage for so long, taken hundreds of lives, only to let bygones be bygones.

And look where it got her.

The once powerful, ever feared, confident queen was now alone and only had her magic to keep her company. Even that had faltered in the past few days. Spurts of magic dancing at the most random of times. Engulfing her when she found herself thinking on her life, what she could do now, what would be her future.

Pathetic. She chastised herself, mentally. Half of her hating the shell of a human she had become. The other half reveling in what she had accomplished anyway. The only good thing to come out of all of this was that she felt at home in her skin for a time, felt accepted by others around and her most of all had a spot in Henry's heart that being evil never could have gotten her. Her son, the only good thing she felt that she had truly ever done in her life.

She shook the sentimental thoughts from her mind once again and glanced at the contents of the room before her. Everything was as it had been. Nothing taken or moved ...except a black chest with gold trim sitting behind the trunk that held only a few pairs of her shoes. The ones she didn't seem fit to go with her formal attire. If the golden trim hadn't twinkled in the light she wouldn't have caught the unknown item in her vault, wouldn't have given it a second thought.

This little chest didn't look like anything she had ever obtained in her lifetime before or after the many curses.

Her footsteps echoed in her ears once again, that same daydream sound causing the vibration to move up her calves, past her hips and into that damned darkened whole in her heart. Bending to pull it to her lap, she seated herself onto the chilled stone to feel that daydream once more before popping the lid open. Bobbles. Trinkets. Items of memories long lost and pushed back. The contents inside having belonged to her despite the outer shell having never graced her palms before this moment.

She hadn't seen these in...

Hesitant fingers made their way along the insides of the chest. Magic surged through her and out of her fingertips in flickering sparks, something she didn't want to stop - couldn't stop in her emotional state. The items glistened, untouched by the magical spurts her body kept emitting. Her eyes and mind glazing over as muddled voices echoed in her head. Hers and

* * *

_An eerie hum of a giggle echoed through the walls of the castle. Regina had tried, once again but failed, to speak the imps name. Always faltering, trying to put a sh where it didn't belong._

_"Try again, dearie." It had become almost hilarious to the sorcerer. Almost being the key word. The young woman had known his name since the last time they spoke. He had told her. Very plainly. One would think after helping her with that pest, and let's face it annoyance, Cora - that she would have been a bit more pleasant. But Rumplestiltskin allowed her this one little slip, she would get it in a moment and he would try to be patient._

_It hadn't been long since she had accepted back the imps spell book that he had given to Cora. The power having been enough for her to accept the fact that she absolutely loved it. The feeling, the fact that she wasn't weak and powerless once again - like she had been her entire life. Like her Mother had made her feel._

_"Rumple..Rumple-schil-t-Rumple"_

_"You're trying-too-hard." His voice ended in a sing-song tone as he leaned against the edge of her vanity, large eyes on her. Maybe patience wasn't what this girl needed, maybe she needed assertion. "RumpleSTILTskin."_

_"Rumple."_

_"I really don't understand why you're having such a hard time with this, dearie." His voice was animated, bouncing off the stone walls as he spoke with slight hand gestures that somehow added to his allure. "I say it once, they say it, it's just this easy peasy encounter and we're done."_

_"Rumplesti"_

_"STILT" He almost yelled this time, causing her to jump._

_She could feel the hairs on her neck standing up, desperately wanting to get it right this time she imagined the spelling of his name on the book and the way he pronounced it just seconds before. Focusing on how he had moved his lips. "Rumplestiltskin." Regina finally let out a breath she had no idea she had been holding._

_"Now say it again." It would be a lie if he admitted he didn't like hearing his name on her lips, those soft and willing to be molded into any monster he saw fit...lips._

_"Rumplestiltskin."_

_The imp let out an approving nnniiinng, before speaking animatedly again "bet-ter"_

_"You never told me when or where we would begin." Her voice was small, something she hated from the get go as soon as she had agreed to push her mother into that mirror. His however, it was different - Regina noted. Always spoken with such ... assertion, confidence, what was that french saying she had heard one of the ladies say at last nights festivity?_

_"What's the matter, dearie?" He let his long fingers toy with one another, wriggling in a fidget type of manner. Always animated, everything the imp did from the moment he appeared out of thin air in her bed chamber the first time til now had been so - exotic...unusual. No one, no human ever seemed to hold such a -_

_Her eyes were one on one with his now. Her dark hues meeting with his reptilian, almost animal like amber. The first time they met, she could have sworn he was a what but clearly he wasn't. Even this close to his inhuman eyes, his scaly skin and his long dark nail-like-claws, she couldn't say what she saw wasn't a human. Maybe one with magic consuming his entire essence, sure,that's what it looked like. But to her, as he had instilled into her brain anyway, magic is freedom. Therefore she thought Rumplestiltskin must be the free-est soul in all the land._

_Being young and naive can always bring on such thoughts._

_Two clicks of his fingers and she was shaken from her reverie. "Eager to learn so soon?" He adds not as enthusiastically as he had wanted to. The words had escaped his lips multiple times but she hadn't heard him, having been lost in her own thoughts. He swatted at the idea of prodding into that mind of hers to see exactly what it was that kept her so occupied._

_Regina nods, she had never felt anything like magic before in her life, nothing that powerful or electrifying as it had been when she pushed her mother through that mirror. So of course she would want to learn something, anything more than what she had already done._

_"I'm sorry?" He would make her voice her thoughts out loud, having put him through repeating himself multiple times. No one bests the best._

_"I - yes." She states, standing her ground and trying to look sure of herself. There's one thing she really wants to be able to do, but didn't want to touch on the fact of bringing Daniel back from the dead so soon for fear of him not wanting to teach her further. In an instant her guard slips and she could almost swear Rumplestiltskin's eyes could see through her entire charade. But if he could, he hadn't let it slip. He just spun on his heels and headed towards the balcony doors, back to her._

_He looked out of place in her bed chamber, she noted. The light colors of her bed, the bronze on the vanity, the white cushion of the settee draped in red cloth, everything screamed queen in a house for the Snow family, but nothing screamed Regina nor Rumpelstiltskin. Unless you countered maybe... her eyes wandered around for a second before stopping on a gold box that had been gifted to her by Daniel. That was it, that was something that seemed right. Gold._

_She began fiddling with her fingertips now, trying to push a feeling of loneliness out of her mind. The castle she was living in now, having promised the king her hand in marriage, didn't make it any easier. She missed home. Or at least the moments she had enjoyed when her mother wasn't using magic to keep her boxed or complaint._

_"Come."_

_"What?"_

_He didn't look back at her, he merely twitched his wrist, beckoning her forward. She did so, hesitantly, heels clicking on the stone floor and echoing off the walls._

_She stalled beside him, her brown hues taking in the village that lingered out in the distance. Currently filled with people who adore Snow White and The King, but not her. Even the King doesn't send her loving gazes or put a hand out to grasp hers. He doesn't even stand with her, like this, looking out at the village below. She would take just that, a simple act of acknowledgement, anything to make her feel wanted. To say she longs for it though would be admitting defeat, defeat to those around her who seem bent on making her feel most unwelcome. And to be honest,she feared if she admitted one thing then the others would come tumbling from her lips in an instant. Her insecurity on show for the entire realm to laugh at._

_Rumplestiltskin did not look in her direction then. Not that anyone would - still deep down in a way she wanted him to. His eyes set to the village and nothing else. So she didn't speak for fear of failing some unknown test that he might have concocted for her._

_They stood like that for what seemed to be forever, watching a hush fall over the land as the people below slowly ended their days with the setting sun. Lamps and candles being extinguished, families making their way home where they believed themselves to be safe. Something Regina mulled over for a beat before staring up at the sky, fear of losing herself to despair as she had many nights over Daniel and what might have been._

_The only sound jolting her from the sky was a light snipping to her right. Rumplestiltskin stood, a lock of her hair in between his long claws, twisting in the moonlight. A giggle echoed off the stone of her bedchamber as the hearth lit up, painting the walls with shadows and causing her eyes to focus on Rumpelstiltskin's golden flecks along the scales of his face. It could be considered beautiful. The way the light licked his features, dancing along his hair and the leather his form adorned._

_"My hair."_

_"Yesss."_

_"Why my hair?"_

_"Why not your hair?"_

_"Because I'm not doing magic on myself;" her tone went from curious before to defensive now. She followed him, closer to the fire as heat nipped at her delicate skin, causing that strange feeling of fear to bubble up from her stomach and settle behind her ears. Heat mixing with the warmth the hearth had drenched the room in. And yet, the man or monster before her didn't have one bead of sweat at his temples. She closed her thin fingers around the edges of his jacket, nearest his shoulders. Thoughts of whispers she had heard about dark magic that could be done with locks of hair circling in her brain. She felt desperate now, fear taking her over completely. "Please, don't do magic on me a-att least nothing bad." She finally let slip the fear that had been building in her limbs and mind, her eyes searching his as he held the strand of hair out of her reach - close to the flames beside them._

_"What's the matter, dearie?" The octave of his voice changed as he lowered his lips to her ear, her eyes on the lock of hair he had in his long claws. "Finding it hard to-" and as he disappeared in a plume of purple smoke, his voice echoed down inside of her, causing her frame to shake. "..trust me?"_

_As the hearth burned down to embers, the room slowly darkening, Regina glanced down at the object in her hands. Feathers, black as ink, clutched against her flushing skin. She had gripped harder than she thought, a few of the feathers that decorated his coat having come off in her hands as he left her there - alone._

* * *

Just as she had done then, Regina grasped the bundle of feathers between her fingers and brought them to her nose. Inhaling a scent that somehow still lingered. The smell of embers, pine, leather and magic. From the entire time they had been close during her apprenticeship, she couldn't ever remember him wearing feathers again. It soon became her thing. To add black feathers to a garment, in fact she still had a few of those in a trunk somewhere. But she wouldn't be fetching them out tonight as another item in the chest caught her eye.

Placing the feathers back, she moved to dance her fingertips lightly over something else. Something she hadn't seen in the longest time. A long red ribbon. Intricate silk with a hint of gold that lined the outsides in an elegant manner. She twisted it around her index finger, her mind feeling the haze of a memory creeping up her spine...she happily gave into it's intrusion as her stomach ignited with the warmth of the fire that had been burning in her chamber.


	2. Golden Trim

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own any characters or anything referencing objects/items/spells/etc mentioned in the series Once Upon A Time. Please read Chapter One notes. This one includes more of Apprentice!Regina. It is of course GoldenQueen. I have this story on FF.net as well. Just posting to here now. I am bad at summaries and new to Fan Fiction, please bare with me.

_"Thank you. That will be all."_

_The seamstress headed out of her bed chamber, leaving Regina to sit on the edge of her settee. Her hands tying up her long dark hair with the ribbon she had help create for the coming festival. Winter would end and spring would begin. The village had been alight with talk of the upcoming event. The King held one every spring to highlight the oncoming blessings the village might receive with crops and new births. Her husband-to-be had even sent out for someone to pretend to predict that this season would be their most prosperous, a thought that caused Regina to giggle. Someone who can predict the future? What a hilariously wonderful ideation._

_At the thought, her mind went to the man who she had been training tirelessly with. **Rumplestiltskin**. Hadn't he claimed he could see the future on many occasion? And before she could push the thought away, it came. Could the king procure him? Regina imagined for a moment, entertaining the idea of Rumplestiltskin at the ball. Putting on a show for everyone involved. It seemed odd, thinking of sharing someone who she held on such high accord with the entire realm. Her fingers went to the fabric of the dress she was sure her husband-to-be would not approve of. Red, beautiful bright red like her beloved apple tree. The fabric decorated gold jewels on the bodice.  
_

_"Going to try it on?" The voice caused her to jump and grab at a blanket beneath her, to cover her modesty. She had been in a slip, no hoop skirt or corset. Just a slip, readying herself for slumber that she had hoped would come shortly after the seamstress had left.  
_

_"I-I already have."_

_"Well, I have not seen it, dearie." He feigned an expression of hurt, then what seemed like interest, but it all soon faded back to his menacing scowl that etched his features almost twenty-four-seven. The reason for his visit tonight had something to do with her consistent fixation with him as well as his determination to see that dress on her frame. Sure he could look through and spy on her without her knowing, but that - that would be no fun, he thought.  
_

_"I-."_

_Rumplestiltskin had made his way towards the dress and bent theatrically at the waist, raking his eyes over the fabric. The smell of her wafting towards his nose, the scent of apples and red roses. Intoxicating. Almost as abruptly as he had bent, he stood and turned on his heel. Pacing to bring himself towards her bed and take a seat.  
_

_A few things had changed in her bedchamber over their time together. Gold had become a more frequently used material. If asked, she would claim it were that of royalty. In the forefront of her mind, she could distinctly remember the night when she had tried to find gold around her. But now, now she could spot it in every angle if just the slightest tease of glistening amber._

_Regina stood, dropping the blanket she had used to cover herself when he had popped up out of nowhere, pulled on the skirt and then placed the corset against her frame then turned around with her back towards her master. "Would you mind? It's a two person job."_

_"Is it?"_

_She heard his footsteps and a low humm from behind her. Holding her breath, she awaited a touch that never came. Instead she could feel magic in the air as her laces came together quickly and tightly, almost knocking the breath out that she had been holding. "Thank you." She gasped, a hand on her stomach. If it were any tighter, she thought, she would need the use of a fainting settee the night of the festival for fear of her husband-to-be not catching her like he should.  
_

_"You really should learn that one. It will save you and everyone else - **precious** \- time." His voice enunciating on the word precious with what seemed to her like a hiss.  
_

_She dressed herself quicker now, feeling self conscious about taking too long seeing as he had mentioned wasted time. And then moved to stand to face him, the dress felt as beautiful as it had looked. She felt beautiful standing there before him now, her eyes trying to find something of approval in his ambers, but she came up empty as always._

_His hands were clasped behind him as he stalked around Regina's frame, once ... twice and stopped behind her. His long fingers coming to her shoulders and then down to rest on either side of her breasts. The corset felt tight, too tight, now as she tried to keep her breathing steady._

_Did he like it? She wondered as she felt him move closer behind her. She couldn't feel him against the gown or her back, only his presence lingering and that same scent of him she had smelled on the feathers that one night hanging in the air around her and she wanted to drink it in until her head spun.  
_

_The last thing Rumplestiltskin would do is admit to liking the way the fabric hugged around her frame, the curves of her body more apparent with the tight corset forming her supple breasts into the most wanton shape he had seen on any maiden. The strength it took to fight an animalistic growl daring to escape his throat was immense._

_Her King had yet to take her maidenhead, he knew that. Had kept tabs on it for as long as she had become old enough to give it willingly to **anyone**. And with the wedding plans taking longer than usual, she remained promised to the king but without the actual vows in place that gave her body to the man who, he thought, didn't deserve her. They would have the wedding in a week or two, as the snow caked the land to remind the village of The King's daughter, just another trick to take Regina's day from her and that made anger boil inside of him like a forest fire._

_But that would be fine, he would take her tonight. Later. Once she has curled up in bed and is heavy lidded, ready for him. She just wouldn't remember consenting to it or the very act itself. The potion he had been brewing all day would make sure of that. This relationship they had, could not be tainted but time had been running out. The King couldn't have her before he could. And he couldn't see her in that dress either, the red would enrage him. Think his wife-to-be a prancing harlot That would surely lead to the marriage being called off. And he needed her simmering rage, needed her to hate the king BUT be married to him all the same. **Unhappily**. Seeing into the future had it's perks._

_Rumplestiltskin took a deep breath in, a slight pressure against the ribbon in her hair apparent, then a plume of purple smoke and the room felt empty as a chill ran down her spine despite the fire in the hearth burning bright. Looking down now, she noticed, the dress had been changed from red and gold to blue with silver. Hesitantly she reached for the ribbon in her hair, pulling it out of it's hold. It was still red. With the gold lining all along the sides, like his hands had been to her - on her arms, near her..._

_"Regina..." She heard the kings voice from the other side of her bed chamber door. Quickly she tucked the ribbon under the blanket on her settee and went to see what it is her husband-to-be needed tonight._

* * *

"Hmm." Her thoughts seemed to whirl around her as she pondered the small object and then placed it back, gently, into the chest. That night the king had only wanted her help in soothing Snow White back to sleep. It appeared his daughter preferred Regina when nightmares buzzed in her head. **How ironic.**

Rumple had been right on many occasions. When someone knows the future, everything is _ironic_. Of course, Regina only knew what had happened so far but if her past self had known - she would have laughed long enough to fill days of boredom.

* * *

_"Focus." Finger snaps jostled her out of her thoughts as her eyes set on a pair of dark fingernails before her. "I need you sharp, dearie."_

_Regina nodded, straightening out the outfit she had chosen to wear today that resembled nothing of a queen. They were at his castle, she wearing her riding suit. Only instead of pants, it was a horrendous skirt that she truly cared nothing for but her chamber maid refused to let her wear pants today. The skirt was long enough to cover her legs. The leather vest though, kept her chemise hidden like a corset. It's collar mimicking that of Rumplestiltskin's vests and leather coat._

A simple gold pendant hanging delicately around her neck kept jostling her into a world of thoughts and ideations. The cold object sending a chill down her spine every time it settled against her chest. She had spent so long learning with this man that he had become closer to her than anyone. Often, she wondered how much he knew of her. He seemed to know everything. About Daniel, about it all. She would soon make it to where she would cut to the chase. Get to the point. Find some way to bring Daniel back.

_Wouldn't she?_

_He had begun growing tired of her mind trailing off today. Even with the pendant that kept his eyes on her supple, sitting slightly lower today, breasts. They really were marvelous things, perfect. And the memories of his tongue lapping at them their first night together sent a surge down the slope of his stomach into his groin. And yet he was concentrating, more than she had been. He wanted her self control, her compliance. That spark of simmering rage. So, he snaked his long fingers around her upper arms and gave her body a shake._

_The contents of what she had in her hand spilled over on the table, her grip hadn't been as tight as it should have been. Inwardly she cursed at having been so out of it today._

_Rumplestiltskin removed his hands from her arms and gestured at the contents on the table. "Now look at what you've done."_

_"I'm sorry. I'll.." she glanced around to find something to wipe it up with, but came up empty handed. Looking to her master and teacher apologetically._

_"Disappointing." He waved his hand and the mess disappeared. Then re-appeared. "Now, you try it."_

_"I can''t-we haven't-" She had began to explain how they hadn't even ventured into her clearing any space with magic, no matter how little the mess, but he interrupted before she could try and make her point.  
_

_"Try it!" he screamed in her direction and she instantly waved her wrist. Nothing coming of it as she expected. So she tried again, this time focusing on the mess and what she wanted to come of it. Again nothing._

_"Keep trying until you actually succeed.""He adds, dismissively. "If you can."_

_He went back to spinning gold like he had been doing in the first place while she mixed the motion, brewed it and gathered the ingredients. That was his main task, day in and out. Spinning. Sure the gold was beautiful, the thread shining in the light that cut through the windows, in the room they were in, but she preferred it when he focused on her. Then again, with her failing at present, it would only make her angrier than she was now with his blatant avoidance of her._

_And so, she kept at it. For hours. Flicking her wrist, waving it, trying different motions and different focusing techniques. All to no avail. Night had fallen. Her eyes were sore and her wrist would bruise, she was almost sure of it. She could feel anger and sadness welling in her like a current readying itself to go over the edge of a waterfall. The leather clad back of her master still facing her as he spun and spun and spun. If she even made it work, he wouldn't notice. No one would. All at once that familiar feeling of loneliness filled her frame. Would she never escape it?_

_She huffed and let her arms fall slack at her sides. Hoping that would maybe shake him, make him turn her way. But nothing. So, as juvenile as it seemed, she pretended to fall as hard as she could to be as loud as possible when she hit the ground to see if he would notice that. Possibly think she had fainted or something from exasperation. The fall only made her yelp in pain, having not thought that one completely through with her well being in mind._

_Still. Nothing._

_This made her livid._

_Rumplestiltskin could sense what she was doing. Or at least trying to do. He didn't take the bait. Regina need not act so dramatic, so childish. It made his stomach flip at the thought she would stoop to such a level. He knew inside what she would become and that was what he wanted. Her to show some composure, some **control**. And given a minute or two, maybe she would notice how ignorant of an action falling had been. Maybe the bruise would remind her tomorrow. Maybe he could find a way to make it remind her of what being a fool feels like sometime down the line after it had time to darken. Oh yes, he thought, he loved that idea.  
_

_She stood, her left hand clinched as her right waved in the air with such fervor she swore she could have ripped his head right clean off, but instead the mess cleared and the wheel he sat at started going faster than before. His foot lifting from the peddle before he turned and his eyes locked on hers._

_For a brief moment Regina had deluded herself into thinking that maybe .. just maybe .. now she would get her recognition. Now he would give her that look of approval, of being proud of what she had done. Instead..._

_"Do you mind?" He could have given her praise, but had she earned it? Not in the slightest and he knew that. So she would just have to deal with nothing. The right of approval and praise lost once she acted like a child seconds before. Had she been calm and figured it out without the show of dramatic desperation, he would be happy to have given her exactly what she had wanted and more. But she hadn't done that and so praise would never come. Not for this act of magical ability, ever._

_Her mouth fell open as she rested her hands to her sides again. After ALL of that, after she actually cleaned the mess and MADE SOMETHING MOVE - THAT was all he could say?_

_She grabbed her leather satchel, huffed and walked out of his room. Leaving him to deal with his wheel spinning on his own, sure that he knew how to take care of that. Heading home had been the best idea she had all day, but home wasn't truly home. It would just be another place in this miserable land where she would be ignored._

_At that thought, She wanted to set villages on **FIRE**._

* * *

Later that night, she remembered, taking that pendant in between clenched fingers and stuffing it into a box - never to be worn again. The necklace, she had worn that day, was supposed to be another symbol of accepting him as a major role in her life. She thought then during her apprenticeship that he had never noticed it, and never would. Now, she shook her head, placing the pendant back into the chest and pulling a silk black cloth over it. This was something. Something that, if she remembered correctly, she had cherished. **What a young fool she had been.** A low chuckle rose up in her chest as the memory pushed through her senses and caused her red lips to pull back into a smug grin.


	3. Leather

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes: Please read Chapter One notes for all information. One of the memories here plays on what Zelena saw in the looking glass in "It's Not Easy Being Green", the other is a figment of my own imagination. I do not own any characters, settings, etc from Once Upon A Time. That stuff belongs to the creators and ABC. One of these memories is mentioned near the last chapter of the story, so keep an eye out for that once it's posted. Enjoy!

_"You're making me nervous." Her voice shook, betraying the anxious feeling that had begun creeping it's way up her stomach and into her throat._

_"Hold out your hand."_

_Regina did as Rumplestiltskin bid, holding out a hand to her side now level with her shoulder - palm up. Her other hand resting on her vanity. They had practiced this once, twice, and she couldn't get it before. She then had spent days practicing so that when they tried it again, she would be ready. But before she could even attempt it he began what she knew as a way of coaxing her into choosing. This new life she wants so badly, the only thing she looks forward to or the life she would have had without him._

_"There were two kinds of people, dearie. Wolves and sheep - those who kill and those who get killed. Do you really want to go back to being a sheep like your Mother wanted you to be?"_

_She shook her head and held her chin up focusing on trying to will the gem into her palm. The mention of her mother bringing a burning heat into her heart, simmering, boiling over and flashing like fire in her brain. Driven. Determined. That was what the burning in her heart made her feel and in that moment, the object finally appeared in the palm of her hand. The little push having been what she needed, so she forgave him inwardly for mentioning her mother._

_"Well done, Regina," exclaimed Rumplestiltskin, "you've been practicing. You're shaping up to be the best pupil I've ever had." The praise was meant to be exactly what she wanted to hear, he had readied himself to do just that since they began practicing this random little act - should she have succeeded. Finally, it felt nice deep within him to admit it to her. Having spent a chunk of time with her sister, the one who instantly and ignorantly had fallen head over heels for him. He did have that effect on women, but he didn't love Zelena. He didn't even love Regina, but he did care for her. Whatever it was they had felt for one another since day one..it went back to before either of them knew each other existed or in Rumple's case - before he knew she would exist._

_A grin slowly etched along her lips as she felt Rumplestiltskin come up behind her, placing his long fingers on her shoulders. She turned, her eyes trying to lock with his. The problem with everything is no matter how much she looked up to her master, she also hated him for how agonizingly slow the entire process had been taking. But this, this moment, was enough to give her the courage to ask for more. More of what she wanted. Power._

_"What if we tried that thing you do.." adjusting her stance and angling her body, so she could see more of him, more of his face._

_"Prey tell is that -thing-" his quipped, his thumb moving absentmindedly on her shoulder. Moving her so that she faced that mirror on her vanity, her back to him, face forward looking at their reflection. One step and his body would touch hers, one minuscule step would be all - he noted absentmindedly. But he need not push those boundaries **again**. This needed to work and if he kept using memory potion on her, he worried her brain would break down in one way or another._

_"The-the poofing thing."_

_"Poof?" His voice went eccentric, his stance moving closer to hers. Yes, **finally** closing that one agonizing step. Their bodies were touching now, flush with on another. But he needed to get out of the situation before his body betrayed him. Before she felt what his bodies reaction would be to just being this close to her in proximity, to feeling the magic she would grow to wield dancing against his fingertips. "Do you think of me as a lizard, Regina?" His control needed to be made apparent, also. She couldn't think that by requesting a new lesson after completing the other so soon would mean she would get to learn what she wanted - when she wanted. No. He was in control and that much would remain clear to her for as long as their lessons continued._

_She remembered a book about a lizard that had poofed it's neck out and immediately regretted her decision to ask for more after getting such a great response before. That wasn't her place after all. She was the student, ever willing to learn as she was - she needed to grasp onto her patience. "No-no- I"_

_"Do you not have a child to take care of?" The reminder of her unhappy marriage life and step daughter held high above their heads now, knowing how it stung - he was still happy to have made his point. A bite, yes, but not nearly as powerful had he stayed and gave her the control she seemed to have wanted. He turned on his heel, but Regina reached out desperately to cling onto his shirt._

_Clearly a mistake, as a swirl of dense purple smoke engulfed her hand. Once again, she had been left standing there in her bedchamber with a scrap from his clothing. Black silk sitting in the palm of her hand, ripped from the grip she had on his arm, not knowing she had that strength. "I'm sorry." The apology had been for her assuming she could choose the lesson, not having ripped his shirt because that much made something in her stir - something that felt like... what was that feeling? Happy? No, maybe pleased o have any little scrap of an object that had been his. And not just the magic that surged through her frame that he had taught her, because after all, with her knowing some of what he did - it felt like having his magic inside of her._

_She brought it to her face, running it along her cheek. Repeating the words he had said before she made a fool of herself. Best pupil. And she would continue to prove him right. Even if it would be the last thing she would do._

* * *

Regina moved away from the fabric and placed her feather light touch on a blindfold. A sigh escaping her lips before she closed her hand around it. She held it away from her, then brought it to her lips. Oh, the fantasies she had with this little scrap of leather material. The fabric now, had brought up images she had remembered reading about in one of his books when she had been his apprentice. The book had taught her not only where everything was inside of her body so she could work towards healing in the best of ways but also what she could do to her body to make her see fireworks. the things she would do in bed alone ...

That memory was something else, long before the blindfold. But she could distinctly remember other moments after the blindfold of herself alone, covering her eyes and not knowing if anyone were in her room. At an apparent ache between her legs, she pushed the thoughts as far away from her as possible for fear of being tempted to cause it to cease. Instead, she thought back to when she was first given the blindfold.

* * *

_Watching her body stand there, awaiting him to do what he wanted made him feel **powerful**. She had shaped up to be a very doting and eager pupil, that much was certain. If he wanted to, truly, bring forth his true animalistic nature she would accept him. He knew that much. She had already done so many **many** times before, thought thanks to his friend the memory potion she would never remember it. _ __Hence his need to consistently remind himself of what he had tasted and touched. And now, standing here, he wanted to touch her again._   
_

_"Hmmhmm" Rumplestiltskin wiggled his fingers close to her face, motioning for her to close her eyes. So she did as he bid. Having impressed him recently with her finding a sleeping curse, thanks to Maleficent, he had been in high spirits. She wouldn't do anything to break that. His voice broken through her thoughts; "Regina, locate that sssimmering rrrage." When she opened her eyes she could only see black. The material cold against her skin. It felt like one of his jackets and smelled of one too. Leather. "And think of where you want to be, right now." She could feel the air in the room shift as his footsteps touched the stone lightly, making his way behind her._

_His arms snaked around her waist, a familiar chill running down her spine as she leaned back against him. His once soft embrace tightened, the force worse than any corset, her ribs protested beneath his arms. She let out a whimper. And then he let up. "Focus."_

_And focus she did. A spark flitted across her skin, her feet feeling as though they were weightless until - she lost her balance and fell. Reaching up she ripped the blindfold from her eyes and set her seething gaze at the man who had let her go._

_"Didn't expect me to take a tumble with you, did you dearie?" The truth was he needed her to fall, this power play between them **had** to continue. The high spirits he had been in, needed to level themselves out._

_"Of course not." Her words were sharp._

_"My castle?" His arms went out to stretch wide, head slowly moving from one side to the other before setting in her direction. His eyes focused on her chin then lower for a split second. Taking in her heaving bosom, as it liked to do when she was angry or out of breath. The amount of magic she used to transport them here, the energy, could do that to a young woman like her. One who hadn't come into her full power._

_The floor didn't feel as cold as her castle. Carpets laid out to rest beautifully to match the drapes, that seemed to hide the sun for whatever reason - she wasn't sure. The mirrors too were covered. Having recently learned a thing or two about mirrors, she would know why he would cover them. It had *nothing* to do of course with her having accidentally popped in on a moment of his - a moment of his alone. A fire ignited low in her belly at the thought. He had felt her before he could finish, she was sure of it. As the mirror lost it's grasp on his home. The image she had seen of him pleasuring himself instilled in her brain. Red lips fell open._

_"Don't drool on the rug, dearie." He could tell she had let her mind wander, could even smell her apparent arousal in the air. Probably thinking onto the little shard of memory he had let her keep of her little intrusion into his world during a moment he had *truly* wanted her to see. Because it had been her that he was thinking about. Call him an opportunist. He had taught her how to gaze through mirror just a few days before the incident so he knew - knew she would try to spy on him. Remove a blanket or two and well, he had let her take in his entire body with her eyes. But she wouldn't remember the part he liked most. The ending and how she drove him to it with that damned mouth of hers. Yes, mirrors work both ways.  
_

_"The first thing that came to mind." She felt as though she had to explain herself, adding "Our practice."_

_"I don't remember bringing you into this room."_

_"You didn't."_

_"Hmm." He was playing coy, acting as though this hadn't been the room she had seen him in. But this little game needed to be enacted. She needed to second guess herself, feel off for having intruded on him and in all truth he wanted her guard down. Wanted a rise out of her, something. Anything._

_Fire. Bubbling to the surface._

_Her gaze turned towards the hearth, holding out a hand she willed it to heat up, hotter. To mimic her own frame. It did and he let out a light giggle, coming to sit in a chair nearest her stance on the floor. Her eyes darted from his leather clad lap to his face, meeting his amber gaze with hooded lids._

_"That's beyond your skill level, my dear." He could feel his cock twitch having had her eyes on it. He didn't need this, not again. But one look at her lips made him want to change his mind. The intensity in which she burned for him was intoxicating. The smell arousal heavier in the air. Sweat coating her skin. Another twitch._

_"Don't flatter yourself."_

_His hand flew to his chest as he feigned hurt, then the lines of his face formed into something darker and Regina couldn't help but find it alluring._

_He waited a beat to see what she would do. But nothing happened. Not one movement from her, no spur of courage.  
_

_Being who she was, an apprentice, she couldn't bring herself to show him how skilled she could be. Mostly due to fear of not knowing what to do. The King had never wanted something as unseemly as..well that. Sure, she had read books with detailed descriptions but she wouldn't even know where to begin. Or would she?_

_"Maybe next time, my dear. Try not to fall. It's very unbecoming of a...queen." Another jab meant to stab where it hurt with how the village hadn't even treated her as such. And yet his entire frame burned for her, his scales prickling at the very thought of rubbing against her soft skin._

_He pushed himself to his feet and turned towards the door, walking out and away from where she sat on the rug. Leaving Regina to sit in the blistering heat she had created for herself. Alone. Once again._

_But she didn't need anyone. She had what he had been teaching her. She had her magic and her rage. Simmering. Burning._

_And they would stoke that fire together, until she burned the entire world down. Maybe then he would be proud._

* * *

The items were blurring as the memories became stronger, harsher. Each one swimming into view, dancing behind her eyes. Regina wanted to burn them. Discard of their intrusion but at the same time it's all she had at the moment. Her dark hues set on something, a broach of some kind that Daniel had given to her. Such a cheap bobble, something The Evil Queen would have laughed at but her...

Swatting at the memory bubbling from the broach, she moved onto the next item and picked up a bottle of orange liquid. Shaking her head slowly, she allowed the memory to sweep her up and could swear she felt his hand still on her ankle. But it wasn't there, hadn't been there for a long time.


	4. Orange Potion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Per usual; I do not own anything Once Upon A Time related. It all belongs to the creators. The notes on the first chapter are for the entire story. This has one memory in it instead of two. Slightly shorter in word count, but that's because it's less confusing with just one memory instead of two. And I put up a little poster for this and the little one-shot (that was mentioned in the last chapter). Enjoy!

* * *

_"Is it messy?" Regina's voice shoots through the silence like an arrow. Today, they were practicing patience before their lesson. The master and teacher; both waiting on the comfortable cushions that adorned the settee in her bed chamber. It wasn't all that unpleasant; she had noticed. As wind swept through the open balcony, dancing along the pages of a book she had been reading about a relationship between a king and a queen. Truly a romance made for young wives to be. Or at least she thought so.  
_

_Rumplestiltskin had busied himself with working through a contract's terms during this time. Amber eyes watching intently as the ink had begun drying. He knew the perfect family to push this contract onto. They were desperate and in need of more gold than being a farmer could make. Finally; lifting a hand he flicked his wrist and watched as a purple electric-like current danced along the words, sealing whoever were to sign it to him and his every whim - within the contracts requirements of the poor unsuspecting victim of course._

_Regina glanced over at him, watching the magic wash over the parchment. It was almost entrancing. Calming; even. Why hadn't they had a contract? She wondered absentmindedly before raising a brow at him. Had he heard her?_

_"Is what messy?"  
_

_"When a woman loses her virginity?"_

_His animalistic eyes snapped into attention to stare at the young woman sitting next to him, searching for a small hint that she could remember anything from their time together. When he had taken care of that special act; the one he had refused to let any man have - her maidenhead. That night, he remembered fondly, had been alight with lightening and rain. But after a months of lessons and rising need, she had been more than receptive of him. Of course, tonight, when the young woman would be called upon by her husband - Rumplestiltskin would make sure that a little blood ended up on the sheet before the chamber maid changed them. Just to make sure this evil queen to be would remain on the right path to her unhappiness without being questioned about her modesty or respect for the king.  
_

_Nothing in her doe-like eyes lead him to believe she could remember anything of the moment they had shared; so he answered her. "Do I look like someone who could tell you that?" His voice took on that impish lilt before pointing one of his long fingers towards himself, lips pressing together in a thin line.  
_

_"Well...yes. I'm sure you've had a maiden or two or.." her eyes went back to her book not really focusing on what the words were saying now, heat rushing to her cheeks. They hadn't ever really talked about such thing, that she could remember. And maybe the thought of him being with anyone made her desire to be one of them, even if she wouldn't admit that to his face. It wasn't a jealousy or an envious feeling, more of a wanting to join in on the line of women who had been lucky enough to get that sort of response from him._

_Ever craving his attention.  
_

_"It's not that messy." He admitted. The memory of his fingers coming up between them with a slight bit of her crimson shining in the lightening flashes danced along his brain, warming something deep within him. No other man would have that memory of her and he took great pleasure in knowing that. And she would not feel pain from the king .. well not that specific type anyway. "Just a little bit of blood and.." he added the last word as his eyes washed over her frame, taking in her reaction to it. "..semen."_

_Nothing happened to show anything on the outside as to her reaction to it, but he could smell her arousal in the air with a hint of apprehension. The latter would be for the king, she didn't want him, oh no and Rumplestilskin knew that.  
_

_A beat passed as they both sat there, silence weighing heavily before... "I don't want to become pregnant." she decided to get to a more important point she had been meaning to bring up to him since they had began this day of leisurely waiting.  
_

_"And why not? Does the king not want a son?" He knew exactly what potion she would need, having already used it on her to make sure an heir couldn't be produced from their first night together.  
_

_"I could care less what he wants."_

_At this a high pitched giggle rose from his chest and out of his mouth. "Is that true, dearie? Not becoming ever the ideal wife are you?" This made him happy. Her refusal to produce an heir would keep her on the correct path. The one he needed her to be on in order to enact his precious dark curse.  
_

_"He has one child. He doesn't need another. I won't make him happy if I -" Her voice dropped as the memories of the previous week fell into play. The wedding, snow falling everywhere and the kings eyes on his daughter and not on Regina - his bride. The entire village had been watching Snow White. All precious and loved. Regina left forgotten. Even on HER day. How **dare** they._

_"If... you're not happy?" He finished the sentence for her. His long fingers wrapping around her small ankle, which she had forgotten was showing._

_The warmth of his hand caused her core to ache, her eyes glazing over as heat radiated from where his hand lingered, she wanted it to move higher for reasons she couldn't even begin to explain. Instead his thumb slowly moved in circles around the dip before her foot began. Electricity sparked from his fingers - magic. Her mouth fell open as the current rushed through her, putting every nerve in her body at attention. **What-was-that.**_

_Rumplestilskins free hand reached up, pulling a bottle of orange liquid out of the air. He desperately wanted to use a deal to do something much more sinister than anyone could think of. He wanted to send vibrations through her body stronger than what she just felt a second ago. He wanted to set every hair on the back of her neck at attention, bring her nipples to hardened little peaks without even touching them. He could do all of that and more, but then this potion of his wouldn't work on her tonight. Because he would have had to mix it in with his memory potion. And two uses would cause her discomfort. More than he dared subject her to. And the promise of it actually working would significantly become less. And she would not have the King's child - if he had his way._

_"All magic comes with a price, dearie."_

_"Name it." Her lips were pouting slightly now, not in a sad teacher's pet way but in the sultry push that arousal could cause - which had been the result of his magic just seconds before and that made him send another shock through her body as he felt a twitch in his leather clad pants._

_"Oh, let's just say one day you'll do something for me." That made two on his scoreboard of things she owed him. Two favors he would undoubtedly call for one day._

_Greedily she took the potion from his grip, purposefully brushing her fingers against his as the electricity the spark had caused in her limbs had become overwhelming. She needed to touch and be touched, wanted it, craved it._

_What was it that had shot from his fingertips through her and why? Maybe a slip of magic he hadn't meant to set off - she thought. For she knew no other reason for the reaction to have been caused.  
_

_They went back to what they had been doing before. As if nothing happened. And yet the air felt heavy on her shoulders, heavier than it should. One of his hands, still on her ankle - which every few minutes - tightened.  
_

* * *

She had never carried the King's heir and never would anytime after that as the bottle kept magically refilling without her having to ask the imp again. Rumplestiltskin never called upon that favor either, she recalled. Her fingers put the bottle back to where it had been and picked up a knife, sharp as ever. And a rush fell over her frame, causing her hand to shake uncontrollably for a split second before the memory came bounding like a charging bull to the surface of her mind.


	5. Blood and Steel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own anything Once Upon A Time related (characters,etc). First chapter notes are for the entire fanfiction. Enjoy the new chapter! I think there's 9-10 (maybe+) chapters in the entire thing, from what it looks like and now we're on chapter 5! I really hope you all enjoy the ride as much as I enjoyed writing it. This chapter runs a little long (3k) since the previous two had been really short (1.5+k). Two memories in this chapter. And a little tiff between the two love birds.
> 
> Second memory teeters on broken hearted Regina and I poured the emotion on a bit thick as the music I put on for the scene literally made tears come to my eyes. Forgive me there. At least broken Regina doesn't come through often. Poor girl. She really needs her happy ending.

_Regina wanted nothing more than to give Snow White a taste of her own tragic medicine. Make her pay for ripping her happy ending from her. And those who worshiped the ground that little arrow wielding bitch stood on pay too. Including her **Charming** prince. But **no** , Rumplestiltskin had taken the sweet taste of victory from her. Ripped it out from beneath her fingertips and waved it around before her eyes, tauntingly. Or so he might as well have. _

_"I only made it so that you couldn't hurt them **here**." The imp spoke, his voice echoing through the room and down into the Queen's chest._

_"Exactly." She spat. "I **know** very well what **you** did."  
_

_"And you have the curse to take them elsewhere." His fingers flitted in the air as if he could touch it, the dark curse. But it wasn't a reality. Not yet._

_Seething, she stalked across the room to her vanity. Palms resting on the cool surface as she looked into the mirror, her eyes meeting the reflection of herself. She hated it. Hated it for being what had become of her and yet she couldn't deny that this version - the one her master helped create - looked powerful. If only her Mother could see where she had ended up today. Someone who, not even Cora, could intimidate. With that, she gripped a knife on her vanity and turned on her heels. Her eyes flitted to Rumplestiltskin as she bounded towards one of her guards. She wouldn't hurt her master. She couldn't. Just as Rumplestiltskin would never cause her more pain than she could handle. Therefore a guard would take the worst of her anger, just like many times before. Guard, peasant - What was the different? Regina didn't know if there truly was one to be found.  
_

_"Don't do this because of little ol' me." Rumplestiltskin's voice hit an octave higher than usual as a feeling of true pleasure wracked his frame. His creation had her own means of letting of steam and they pleased him to no end. Truly, he wanted this to happen, desired it more than anything. His mind willing her to push through the young pupil he had trained many years ago, push further than any apprentice of his ever had.  
_

_"Oh please." She hissed in his direction, anger boiling over like lava as she closed the space between her and the only guard in the room, the knife going to his throat. He didn't budge, only mumbled a few pleases that went in one of her ears and out the other. At this point; nothing could sway her mind from ridding the world of one more moron. At the blades close proximity in which it was held to the guards neck, Rumplestiltskin let out a giddy noise, clapping his hands together once and then twice. This provoked Regina to narrow her eyes on him as she moved the blade swiftly across the guard's throat and as if that hadn't been enough, she sank the cold metal deep into his gut not once, not twice, but three times before she threw him to the side. His helmet colliding with a resounding_ **_ting_** _as his entire body hit the stone castle floor. Regina's lips pulled back in a snarl, eyes unwavering from Rumplestiltskin's reptilian gaze._

_That look of hatred, power and seething rage caused his body to tingle. He tilted his head lovingly washing his gaze over his pupil, his greatest creation. This was something he hadn't thought to look ahead and try to see. Her reaction to his spell he put on the twu love couple. Priceless. He wanted to pluck the reaction right out of her body and bottle it for a rainy day.  
_

_"You'll regret this. I can promise you that." She had closed the space between them now, their feet flush with one another.  
_

_The venom in her voice caused his scales to tingle in the best way possible. Ah. Pure perfection seething before him. Looking like a lioness ready to pounce - how he wanted to give those red lips something to bite. A chuckle very unlike him bubbles in his chest, his chin rising, lips close to hers. "Oh, I very much doubt that, your Majesty."_

* * *

Even now, as she sat on the cold stone, her body reacted to the heat that had lingered in the air between them. Her body betraying her as she felt her core moisten at the memory. They had quarreled. Fire and smoke. Until he said some little quip and left, tiring of their heated dance.

Licking her lips, she tried to calm her body and moved onto the next item. A ripped piece of fabric from an old chemise of hers, simple and yet covered in crimson.

* * *

_Regina could feel a slow burn building deep within her chest, her feet carrying her as fast as they could as she ran. Today hadn't been the best. Her Husband having spent most of it on Snow White and ignoring every single advance Regina tried to make. Regardless of how much it repulsed her. She had stooped to such a level as to beg for his attention. Why had she done that? Even now, as the wind whipped through her long locks she could feel his hand pushing hers away from him. It was just a simple grasp - a cry for something, anything. Hand holding isn't a sin. It's not something that would repulse the village if they saw them two doing that. It's normal for a king, a husband even, to show some kind of caring for his wife. Since had had done that, she did what any queen scorned had done in all of her novels. She whispered into the ear of the closest knight. **That** had gotten his attention. It had also lead to her riding lesson with said knight today cancelled. Her horses. Her riding. The one thing she had tried to hold onto. That is when Snow White wasn't busy winning medals she couldn't obtain because it's not **seemly** of a queen._ _  
_

_Soft pink lips opened to the wind lashing at her skin to let out a loud noise that simmered from deep within that rage low in her belly. It felt good. Free. So she did it again, this time the end sounding more like a sob than anything. Couldn't the world around her see she was in pain? Is she so invisible that she will be forced to suffer in silence? All it would take to ease her pain is something, just one little simple act of kindness and apparently even that was too much to ask for._

_"I'm ALIIIIVEEEE!" she screamed, her voice breaking at the pressure she put on her vocal cords. Her arms outstretched before her as she closed her eyes to the cold. The words were directed to the village, the kingdom, her husband, that bitch snow white, her mother. The collection of people who seemed to want nothing more than to snuff out her light as quickly as possible. Spite boiled in her like venom. If only her mother could see how powerful she was slowly becoming. That the one who had taught her was now teaching the daughter she taunted with magic. For years._

_But as soon as the thought formed, she felt her foot snag onto something and then she was being lifted, weightless. A trap that had been set for animals or thieves had caught her in it's snares. Not watching her surroundings and getting too lost in her head; had cost her time. Which her mentor had continually reminded her was precious. She lifted a hand while trying to get her footing to no avail. The net swinging from high on it's branch. She watched as leaves fell through the open holes, her ankle twisting uncomfortably underneath her. "Fuck!" she spat, very unlike a lady. Right now; she wasn't a lady. She was pissed off and this wasn't helping her mood._

_Maneuvering herself, she slipped a hand beneath her leather vest, fingers closing around the knife she had hidden there. Traveling alone as a woman in a forest wasn't a smart idea, even she knew that. Having something to defend herself in close range was a must. Quickly she began cutting at the ropes that held her prisoner. They split quickly, almost too quickly. She lost her footing, dropping out of the net with brute force. Her body hit the ground with a thud, fingers gripping at the leaves scattered along the forest floor. The wind temporarily knocked out of her._

_Her lips opened, gasping as a sharp pain radiated from her stomach up to the receptors in her brain. "AH!" Pushing her heels against the ground, she rolled herself over onto her back. Her eyes peering up at the trees that concealed most of the daylight from her. Dark clouds forming in the promise of rain. Batting her lashes, she did the one thing she really didn't want to._

_She looked down._

_"Oh no.." Her voice escaped her in a groan as her hands shakily reached down to touch the skin around where her knife had sunk into. Why hadn't she let it go. Why did she think it would be okay? "...pp-please.." Trembling fingertips danced along the handle, fear rising in her throat. "fuck!" she hissed as another wave of pain radiated through her stomach, her hands leaving the handle of the blade. "It-hurts-it.." This wasn't the plan. She had meant to use the time to run and get out her frustrations on her way to the imps castle. Given, it would take a few hours for her to reach it on foot, but she wanted to feel the air against her skin. But not like this.  
_

_"Well heal it,dearie." The impish voice broke through the mess that was her hisses and cursing._

_"I don't know how." She spat, pain causing her to have more courage than she had ever had._

_"Figure it out." He knelt near her, the leather of his outfit making a squeaking noise.  
_

_"I'll die before then."_

_He giggled, the sound echoing off of the trees in the vast forest surrounding them. "Then - you might want to think fast."_

_In truth, Rumplestiltskin hated seeing his young protegee in such pain or in danger of losing a life he needed her to keep in tact. But it had been her own reckless thinking that caused this in the first place. She needed to learn a lesson, no matter how much it pained him or her. He could sense her pain, her magic weakening which is what had led him to come to her aid. Now that she had begun learning ways of magic, taught by him, their magic was alike in many more ways than one. He watched as she pulled herself to her knees, her riding pants gathering dirt as another wave of pain radiated through her. His scales twitching at the sight, him fighting the urge to pull her to his chest._

_Making a sound of both disgust and pain, she swatted at him trying to push him away from her - only to fall forward, the knife piercing through deeper. She yelped in agony. Words meant to push him to help her leaving her trembling lips like poison. "You cruel, vile, horrible-" A speck of blood collecting on them just to spite her, a reminder of time slipping from her fingertips.  
_

_"Tick-tock." He said, as if her words meant nothing to him. And truly they didn't. He knew she was in pain and honestly, those words weren't really daggers at his heart. He sort of liked the way they spilled from her lips. His eyes flicking to the blood collecting there from the injuries her body had taken on. If he admitted fear, he knew he would cave and she would learn nothing.  
_

_Pulling herself up to her knees once again, she balanced one hand on his shoulder. Thinking he'd move or recoil to leave her to her own devices, but he didn't. The other went to pulling the knife from her stomach. The very action causing her head to spin and her grip to become vice like on his shoulder. Curses spilling from her lips when she could actually talk instead of hiss. Throwing the knife to the ground, she brought that hand to her stomach. Thinking of the anatomy books she had read and willing herself to picture healing the first thing there. The skin on her back, then onto the rest. All the way through._

_"Break it apart, channel it elsewhere." Slipping, he wanted to make sure she wouldn't hurt herself in placing everything where it should be. He knew she would be sore today with that amount of damage needing to be placed in other parts of her body. Which meant; he couldn't opt for a lighter practice in favor of her being in pain, he would have to make it harder work today. Something that would show her that no matter how much pain she is in, the world does not take sick days and neither do sorcerers or their apprentices.  
_

_"I know." She spat, her nails digging past the silk of his shirt, sliding the jacket from his shoulders so she could dig as far into his scaly skin as she could but her nails couldn't even break it. And he didn't let slip any indication that she was hurting him.  
_

_Slowly, but surely, she felt her insides heal one at a time. Muscle, tendon, everything that had been severed mapping back together with the magic that coursed through her._

_Her face turned towards his as she moved closer, her nails still against his silk shirt. Her gaze met with fiery amber eyes, which caused a flutter in her stomach where she had just healed. They sat like that for a moment, her labored breath from pain slowly calming and his eyes unwavering as the color slowly crept back into her face._

_"Now now, well done." He stood, shaking off her grasp and adjusting his jacket back onto his shoulder before holding out his hand to her. His mind filing away the fear that had almost slipped through the cracks, making a mental note to never show her exactly how much he felt for her. The young apprentice needed to pine after her master, needed to crave any slip of emotion as to make sure she succeeded in everything he needed her to. Only then, on rare occasions, could he show just an ounce of what he truly felt for the young brunette.  
_

_Slowly, she wrapped her fingers along his hand and he pulled her to her feet against him. His other arm snaking around to rest on her lower back and in a blink of an eye, they were engulfed in a plume of purple smoke that whisked them away to his castle where they would begin another lesson that she needed to learn. Her mind able to forget the pain of earlier, the village her King ruled over and the trauma her mother had caused her when she was weaker. All of her energy going into putting metaphorical armor over the heart that had been crushed with Daniel's. And her strength going into trying to push the incident as far from Rumplestiltskin's mind as possible, for fear of him thinking her too weak to be the protegee she knew he wanted her to be.  
_

* * *

She placed the fabric back into the chest with hesitant fingers. The pain she had felt that day was nothing compared to the pain she caused in many unsuspecting peasants throughout her reign as The Evil Queen. Even during her apprenticeship. She was relentless. Unstoppable. And that armor that she had held so close to her chest, pushed everyone to arms length. And yet, she did exactly what she had wanted to. She became Rumplestiltskin's greatest pupil and more powerful than her mother.

Long after that incident; they would have a lesson on healing people other than herself as well as causing pain just as powerful as the healing process. Though, she remembered back then, she wasn't sure how he had convinced a few peasants to trust her enough to hold their lives and healing bodies in her hands, now she knew better. People would do anything with the right cards on the table.

Taking another item in hand, she recognized it as a piece of an ogres armor. Strong, cold steel. Punctured by magic. It was fit for a younger version instead of the giant ones that were fully grown and terrorized most of The Enchanted Forest. Disgust surged through her frame as the memory forcefully floated to the surface behind her eyes. She wanted to tear herself apart for all of the pain she had caused creatures and humans alike.


	6. Unspoken Promises

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes: I do not own anything Once Upon A Time related (characters,etc). First chapter notes are for the entire fanfiction. I really hope you all enjoy the ride as much as I enjoyed writing it. And thank you to those who are sticking with it through the chapters.
> 
> We have 2k in this one! Also, I have all of the docs set for the rest of the chapters, there will be 10 chapters in all. Enjoy!

_Rumplestiltskin had set Regina to do tasks no other apprentice had ever fulfilled for him in all of his time as The Dark One. The true drive that had set her sights on revenge all but feeding the mere inhabitants of this land to him. Each life taken either stoked the flame that burned in the village for Snow White or drove desperate souls to call upon his name in need of a deal to save their children the same fate in following those who pined after the child that reminded them of winter. His beast giving him more leverage over everyone and yet all he wanted to do was whisk her away to some far away land where no one knew their names. **That** type of thinking is what made her dangerous to him in all senses of the word._

_She stood stock still like a statue, her body aching from what she had put it through the last few weeks. Crushing one girls heart hadn't been enough. Her Master demanded blood and tears, so that is what she had been giving him. Ripping out heart after heart, burning happiness from the land. And now as she stood over the bodies of five ogre young, she wiped her brow. Readying herself for whatever came next._

_He watched as she took on the look of a true Queen. A monster not born, no, but made by his own very hands and mind. She had molded to his every ideal - his every image and more. Pushing the boundaries he knew she would, the boundaries he felt that night she had tried but failed to pronounce his name while clinging onto her mother's book. The same surge that shot through him every time he touched her skin, ran through his limbs like a phantom of a feeling long abandoned but not forgotten. If he could just touch her now, feel that prospering power that surged through her frame._

_"You deserve so much better than what Cora wanted for you. Don't you, Regina?" He used the same tactic with few tasks she completed. Each successful project eliciting either a praise in form of a sentence or in a smile, a nod. The woman before him would literally take anything he sent her way in both praise and task.  
_

_Her breath caught in her throat at the mention of her mother's name from his lips, she shot him a scowl. Even if his praise meant more to her than he would ever understand, she hated hearing her own Mother's name - ever. Especially after such a harsh week. "Tell me something I haven't known all of my life."_

_"You could bring the world to it's knees. Burn them all." Circling her had seemed to become his favorite thing to do during their shared moments. It drove her crazy. And he knew that, which only proved to make him want to do it again, again and again._

_She noted how he carried himself through the corner of her eyes. Taking in his stance, his confidence that never wavered, that cackle. As if he could read her thoughts, one of those eye rolling cackles released from his gold speckled lips and out into the fog engulfed forest that surrounded them._

_"What do you want, Regina?" His voice danced along her skin as he came up behind her, lips close to her neck. That beautiful curve that led to that shoulder of hers and down to those hands that had been making him more than proud lately, showing no mercy to peasants and royals alike._

_"To make Snow White suffer." her voice, a growl from within her chest._

_The moonlight danced off of the curve of her breasts, something he couldn't peal his eyes from. A low hiss slipped from his lips, trying to calm the animalistic need that surged through him."Why?"_

_"She's a sheep."_

_"And what does that make you, dearie?" he had begun his circling again, stretching his legs._

_"A pissed off wolf." She snarled, teeth bared and beautiful behind dark crimson lips before she closed them again, a determined and dark facade forming on her features as she watched him, circle her like a shark._

_He nodded, his hands clasping together as he closed the gap between them, his eyes racking her frame over. Nodding in approval at the creature he had created. Now beside her, he allowed his shoulder to rest against hers. Giving her the extra little something that he knew she needed to help grow that need and desire to please him. However, this only proved to provoke the same within his body - mere emotions popping up at unexpected turns proving he indeed was still part human inside of this **beast**.  
_

_The loud thuds were echoing in their ears now as he turned to face where her gaze had wandered into the dense forest surrounding them. They would come now, angry about their young - determined to kill. The truth was; he had a deal that included him taking out as many ogres as possible. Soon to gain something very valuable to him from defeating these larger than life creatures. Doing the task alone, by himself, would have been easy. But that wouldn't have been as fun as this._

_Rumplestiltskin let out a giggle as he raised his dagger. Regina gave a low chuckle in response, her lips peeling back to reveal perfect white teeth._

_This would be fun._

* * *

Her memory heavy eyes locked on strands of dark, slightly curled, hair with a gold ribbon wrapped around it. It was odd how things sort of took a full circle type of effect the second she snatched the locks from his head. He had let her keep them, which she found more than odd. His reaction hadn't been much like hers though, which she remembered with fondness. His lack of fear always surprised her and pushed her to be more like him in that aspect as well as others. Hell, even her clothing choices had his touch on them.

* * *

_"What you need to focus on isn't what you want to happen, it's how you want it to happen."_

_"How." She repeated the words, willing her brain to focus on the bone and tendon that settled deep within the one spot she opted to change. They were working on transformation, shape shifting. Not too much unlike a simple glamour; just a little more advanced. This was something she could alter that everyone around her could see, including herself. She hadn't had a chance to attempt glamour yet, whatever made him think she could do this was beyond her grasp of reasoning.  
_

_Rumplestiltskin took to looking around while she attempted the task at hand. His eyes washed over a wide variety of alcohol sitting on a cart that had been brought it long before he even arrived. "Expecting someone?" Fingertips dancing along the tops, grasping one and lifting. Bending at the waist he took a sniff. The smell alone burning his nose. He preferred alcohol from a realm completely unlike this one.  
_

_"The King." She spoke absentmindedly, her magic trying to latch onto the idea in her head. Slowly and surely she felt something moving beneath her skin on her nose, tendon and bone adjusting at just the right angle -_

_"He drinks a lot, does he?"_

_"Not real-" a loud snap echoed throughout her skull, her lashes fluttering as a searing pain shot through her - knees buckling. She didn't cry out as she went onto all fours against the stone floor. Her fists balling as her body tried to grasp onto the throbbing right in the middle of her face. Eyes watering slightly, blood trickling down to her lips._

_"You've broken it." He stated matter of fact-like without even having to be near her to know what had happened. Turning on a heel to gauge the damage. "Let me see.." Closing the space between them, he knelt down in front of where she was sitting on the floor, his animalistic eyes searching through her composure. Pride. He felt it swell up inside of him like a balloon. She was doing much better this time around handling slight pain, though a knife wasn't currently deep in her gut._

_"I know." Her voice moved like honey from her lips, as she willed her mind back to her nose, trying to repair the damage she had done to it but something stopped it from reaching where she had wanted it to go. Like an invisible barrier and try as her magic did, it could not penetrate through to heal her broken nose. "What are you doing?" She shot him a glare, one that told him she knew what she was doing and didn't currently need his assistance._

_He swatted at her expression, long fingers dancing inches from her eyes before he willed the nose back into it's original position. The bruise that had begun forming there slowly fading away back into the creamy smooth skin that had been there before the incident._

_"Why did you do that?" Her fingers touched the skin on her nose, running along the slop of it before coming to rest in the blood that had collected on her lips._

_He took the scarf off from around his neck, giving himself enough time to come up with some reason that he had to help her that wouldn't give way to any emotions in his being. Handing the item to her, he finally settled on - tone cold as ice - "My fault for thinking you could handle that advanced of an enchantment so soon." That did the trick. He stood to his feet, walking away from where she sat on the floor cleaning up the crimson on her lips with his scarf. He would want that item back, of course._

_She pushed herself back to her feet once the blood was cleaned from her skin and walked back to her vanity. Her hands rested for a beat or two on the surface before an idea sprang to mind. If he was so set on consistently reminding her of her lack in knowledge or power-then... Her fingers gripped a pair of sheers with such force as she turned to walk away they had scraped a line along the wood. She would repair it later, she made a mental note of it. But for the moment she needed to make a point to the imp. Before he could react, she was behind him, sheers raised and a strand of his hair between her fingertips. He engulfed himself in a plume of purple smoke, but she had already gotten what she needed before he reappeared behind her._

_"If I'm such an inexperienced sorceress, you wouldn't mind if I held onto this - would you?" She turned towards him now, the strand between her fingers as she threw the scarf in his direction. The scissors dangling on her ring and pinky, below where the strand of hair sat pinched between her index and thumb.  
_

_He caught the fabric that belonged to him and waved it towards her in a 'go ahead' type of notion before adding; "Of course not, dearie."_

_And he must have sounded as if he actually meant it because Regina's look of triumph slowly faded from her features, being replaced by that same expression of not being good enough._

* * *

Nothing about the strand had been spoken of since that day. He never let it slip that he ever truly cared but then again; she hadn't ever used it against him either and from what she could tell - he hadn't done so with hers that he took that night. It was as if they had some secret unspoken promise between one another. One that said 'I could do horrible things to you if I _truly_ wished it - but I won't'. That thought alone sent a warmth into that hole in her heart. The heat radiating out into her chest and along her limbs.

She hid the strand beneath the scrap of her chemise she held not too long ago and danced her fingertips along an item that she remembered had hung on her neck during another one of their heated moments together. A smile tugging at her lips as the images flooded the surface of her mind.


	7. Golden Thread

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own anything Once Upon A Time related (characters,etc). First chapter notes are for the entire fan fiction.
> 
> Heated moment in the second memory. I really don't find it 'mature' (since I didn't use any 'sexual' type of details as in 'wet' or 'hard' or anything like that) but it could be taken that way which is why I'm putting a little warning here.
> 
> Also; I know the memories are probably getting a bit redundant, but they are almost over as we are closing in on the final three.
> 
> Enjoy the new chapter!

_The problem with giving into the darkness is that her hunger never satiated. She felt continuously starved, thirsting, fangs at the ready to sink deep into crimson. If they hated her before all thanks to Snow White, they must absolutely loathe her now. Regina reached up, plucking an apple from her one love. Her tree. It had been the only consistent thing in her life that never asked for more than it gave. The love of her life, the tastiest. Before she could sink her teeth in, the air around her shifted. And then..._

_"Hungry again, dearie?"_

_She rolled her eyes and turned to face her teacher/master. The one she had held on such high accord for so long and even now, as she stood here as powerful as ever on the verge greatness, she admired him. Anger churned inside of her frame at that internal confession. Her mouth pulled back into a heartless smile. "Back so soon?" These little visits were becoming more frequent. First he put a curse on the Charming's, so she can no longer hurt them here. And then she thought she had bested him. Upped her game by having the count on her side and then...well... that too came crashing down; all thanks to him. "Your desperation is creeping through the cracks...dear."_

_"Desperation? I would say .." he crept closer, slowly. His eyes roaming her stance so she made sure not to move, so he could see her confidence this time. "...disappointment. Ridding you of that play toy had been the easiest thing-to-do." Thin fingers tick-tocked before her, their feet flush together now. "Failure doesn't suit you, Your Majesty." Taking a deep inhalation, he could smell her anger pouring from her skin. And that aroused him in the most feral of ways. She had done well, thinking she could sneak out from under his hold on her but she aught to have known him better than that. Nothing happens without his say so._

_His golden eyes flitted to the crimson fruit in her hand, so she closed her fingers around it until nails dug beneath the skin. Failure huh? She would show him. That curse would be the easiest thing she would ever do. Easiest. Her brow arched in a second, her hip canting out to the side as she leaned in closer, the nails of her other hand digging into the leather of his jacket. "I'm going to show you that your curse can be done. I'm not a failure. In fact, I'm sorry that I won't be there to watch your face as you finally realize that you've met your match."_

_A giggle dances off of the walls as he leans in closer, his eyes on the juicy red fruit in her hand. The fact that she had said that made him happier than she could have guessed. Everything would go as he planned. Everything would fall into place and she would be the greatest thing he had ever created. His monster. His beautiful, red lipped, sultry, grenade. And soon he would place her in the perfect spot and she would burn this entire retched world down around them. That day, he noted, it would take everything in him not to enact their deepest desires as the smoke curled around them. Then again, they wouldn't be standing close together. She had been right about that. For he would be caged, for what reason? He wasn't quite sure yet. The strings were hard to put together. This seeing the future thing becoming quite difficult._

_"You shouldn't have messed with my plans." Her words came out like a hiss, a protective cat ready to leap on her prey. And she wanted to, more than anything. To thrust herself as far onto him and latch her nails onto that scaly golden skin._

_"You shouldn't have tried to weasel your way out of my grasp." His long fingers wiggle as he closes them around the fruit in her hand, golden eyes rolling up to meet her own gaze. Watching, wanting her to do anything, to rip the apple from his grasp, to jerk back. But she didn't. She had never recoiled from him. He relished in her acceptance of his dark demeanor. Her lack of repulsion._

_"You malevolent, good for nothing, imp."_

_The corners of his lips curled into a smile. "There she is..." Rumpelstiltskin shook the apple from her gasp and turned on his heel. "I wouldn't say I'm..."he held the fruit triumphantly in his claws then took a large bite, chewing slowly as if she had nothing to do all day but sit here and watch him defile her most prized possession. "...good-for-nothing."_

_The taste was something else. Delicious, delectable, and it felt as if he had taken a chunk out of her very core. His tongue lashing and teasing the fruit in his mouth, like he wanted to do to her. Take a bite of her skin, latch his fangs as deep into her as possible and allow his saliva to seep into her wounds, mixing his poison with her own._

_When they had first met she thought him to be the most impressive thing she had ever seen. The most impressive human, sorcerer and maybe she still thought that. His sanity was surely something to question. However, he had drove her to the same manic need for self preservation. Hers only seeping with the need to be assured, loved, adored and most of all free of everything. "You're right..." Admitting that he actually did do something worth while, teach her everything she knew and made a curse so she could enact her revenge. She closed the space between them, her fingers snaking out around his wrist to bring the apple to her lips, her teeth taking out a chunk right where he had bitten into. The taste was something along the lines of her delicious apple laced with poison, venom, magic, spite... and she savored every bit of it. "...that snow-fucking-thorn-in-my-side-white won't know what hit her."_

_"And Pppprince Charm-ing." he giggled, taking his other hand , a finger set against her chin to wipe the juices away. Only to bring the digit to his mouth, savoring the sweet nectar. "Cannot forget him, Your Majesty."_

_A vicious smile curled along her lips at the flicker of something she thought she could see in his eyes. Was she making him proud? Showing him the monster he made..."Oh, I wouldn't dream of it." Half of her hated how she continued to crave his approval even after he stole her revenge out from under her just so his precious curse could be done. He'd get his wish alright. But in this little town without magic, she would be Queen or at least this world without magic's version of a queen. She would have power and he would be forced to live everyday like a mundane human - never to take her happiness from her grasp again.  
_

* * *

She held up the necklace she had adorned that day and placed it back where it belonged. He had riled her then, she knew that now. But with the current knowledge of everything that had happened and everything he had done in the past, she would do it again. Because nothing got underneath her skin like Rumple. Oh no. That imp was something else. And in her own twisted marionette way - she loved being _his_ puppet.

Her eyes landed on another bottle, this time empty. The little red jewel that hung from a thin white ribbon jogged the memory into place, her stomach rolling in response.

* * *

_She growled as the pain shot through her frame. Her mother now out of her sight, she was free to give in and curl her hands into fists that she relentlessly threw at the closest guard. Stomach, arms, head. Wherever it could land. Until the lump of useless towering muscle fell down against the stone._

_"Rumplestiltskin." She growled, her nails digging into the jewels on the bodice of her dress. Where was that annoying imp when she actually needed him. A beat, two, three. She laid back on her settee and growled once more. "Rumplestiltskin." The ending of his name catching in her throat and sounding more like a whine than anything._

_"You rrrranggg." The golden flecked imp stood at her feet, amber eyes washing over her frame laid over on the settee, her face screwed up into an expression of pain. "You aren't looking very well, dearie."_

_"I need something to fix this." she hissed in his direction, the pain simmering to a slight cramp now._

_"Fix..uh what?" His fingers flitted towards her in a waving motion then back together at his front. He knew exactly what she had done but wanted her to admit to to him. Say it out loud. He had actually anticipated this day. When she would call upon him after doing something so ridiculous just to prove to Cora how strong she had become. Part of him reveled in it, the other half felt she had become weak with her rash actions._

_"Infertility potion, asshole." She spat, clutching her stomach as she sat up, bringing her head to rest at Rumplestiltskin's stomach, her fingers dangerously close and gripping at the leather pants adorning his form._

_The act had been so subtle, so swift. Yet having her here, this close, in such a pleading and vulnerable state..it sent a shiver up his spin and made his mouth water. Pushing away his need to metaphorically kick her while she was down, he reached up and materialized what she wanted out of thin air. One of the many bottles he had that contained the healing waters from Lake Nostos. He put it into the palm that clutched onto his pants, an act to remove her from the close proximity._

_She pressed harder against him as she shifted her weight to open the bottle and down it in one quick motion. The contents didn't seem to wash over her, not like most magic had done anyway. But the cramp that had been there before dulled. "Did it work?" Her eyes darted up to look straight into his, her lashes heavy after such a draining event._

_He wanted to lie to her, to make her afraid, those delicate lashes making everything in him want to twist and break her. But he didn't, only gave a nod and then added"Of course, dearie."_

_"The price of this little act of kindness?" And there was the venom, once more. Laced in each of her words as to regain any ounce of respect back from him that she could. Afraid that the small moment of weakness would burn in his brain forever and taint the image of this perfect monster he had turned her into._

_He held out his hand , bringing it as close to her lips as he could without actually touching them. He knew what he wanted but of course that couldn't happen, so he would settle for any little taste of intimacy from her. And after all would be said and done, he would never speak of it.  
_

_She pressed her lips to the back of his hand and moved them up to his wrist, then down along his fingertips until the urge to bring one between her teeth overpowered her and she did just that. Snaking her lips around his thumb, her eyes flitting up to his but nothing gave anything away from behind those golden eyes of his. So she sucked. Hard. Her tongue running along the coarse skin in her mouth. Then as she slid back, her teeth scraped along the digit until it was out. Her tongue pushing past her lips to give one last flick to the tip of his thumb and nail. Then as slowly as she had done that, she did the exact opposite and pushed forward to dig her teeth as deep as she could around the side of his hand. But no matter how hard she bit, no blood came. And he wouldn't draw back. "You're no fun." Her voice muffled by the skin she held between her teeth._

_"I didn't come here for fun, dearie." He disappeared then in a plume of purple smoke._

_Her teeth rattled as they closed forcefully together with the amount of pressure she had put on Rumplestiltskin's hand.  
_

_That bastard; she thought. But at the same time, she felt a ping of appreciation at him having really asked for nothing in return once more for helping her.  
_

* * *

All of the memories felt like they had taken a toll on her frame. As if they were being spurred on by the very contents of the chest. And perhaps, to all of her knowledge, they could very well have been. Her body felt tired, heavy and spent. But that didn't stop her from wanting to continue despite what protests her body tried to put up.

Her fingers traced a small spool of gold thread, she couldn't remember anything about it. Nothing like before with previous memories washed over her, nothing prodded at her mind or her body. The absence of a memory left a strange cold feeling trickling down her spine. Having seen this spool of thread many times in her life, or something like it since that was all Gold did - spin this stuff, she couldn't place the moment when she would have snatched it up.

He couldn't take watching her any longer. Especially now that she held the one thing he had placed in there so long ago between those delicate and powerful fingertips of hers. That woman would be the undoing of him. He knew that. Had known it for quite some time. Why else would he have gone through all of the trouble to keep most of these memories at bay and the others completely out of her mind. She wouldn't remember the thread because that specific spool was not a memory of hers, it was a memory of his. Of when he found her stashed treasures in her castle beneath her bed. He had snatched it up, placed it in a chest and put the very first spool of thread he had ever spun into it. A way of claiming everything in there as his own to anyone who would dare open it.

His feet went forward, out of the shadows and closer to where her body sat on the cold stone floor of her vault.


	8. Mirror Mirror

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own anything Once Upon A Time related (characters,etc). First chapter notes are for the entire fan fiction. Enjoy the new chapter!
> 
> Warning: Finally taking that M rating home with this one. (and the next chapter if I'm being completely honest here) Little remnants of memories in this, just enough to give a little sight into some of the memories Rumple has kept from her.

Suddenly something shifted in the corner of her eye and she looked up to see what caused the shadow - Gold. Rumplestiltskin stood mere inches from where she sat, his footprints leaving marks in the dust lain concrete. The flickering candle light gave him an almost sinister looking luminescence, one that he had held long ago in a castle lit by just the same. How was it that they always ended up together, no matter the years or obstacles.

"Where did you find this?" his voice was low, a strange sound after being as engulfed in the past as she had been. The lilt he had kept in the past, no longer in the traces of his human voice.

She stood, placing the spool back where it had been. He had come so close to her that as soon as she stood up, they were face to face. His breath hitting her skin. Gently, she pushed the black chest against his stomach, holding on long enough for him to place his hand right next to where hers were on the bottom. "I...found it.. here in my vault."

He picked up the red ribbon with his free hand, his fingers moving along the fabric as if afraid his human nails could harm it. Regina gave a light chuckle. Which caused his gaze to direct back to her.

That ribbon, the very symbol of it had resonated so strongly with him that night. An unspoken word like the many gold items she tried to add slowly to her bed chamber, that said she had been his. Completely. The very reminder caused his chest to emit a low hum, something that the animal he had been in The Enchanted Forest would have done. He was sure that Regina never had known his acknowledgment of such things - even if secretly he applauded her for being bold enough to enact such a slow moving proclamation.

"They're..." She took in a deep breath and made her way over to the settee that had gathered dust and bones over time. With the wave of her hand the dust and bones settled in a far corner, an echo as they nestled there falling together in an unsettling clang that did not feel nice to the ears. She sat down on the comfortable surface, enjoying the warmth of the cushion as her legs were chilled after sitting against stone for as long as she had. "...stuff I had kept when I was.."

"In The Enchanted forest." He knew, of course he knew. He had placed the items here as a last ditch effort in reliving something, moments from many years ago. If he hadn't felt what was coming, he wouldn't have even toyed with such an idea. But, since he had, his guard slipped. Much like it had many times throughout the years of knowing such a strong woman. Regina, to him, had been everything and more he dreamed she could be. The pride he held for her shook him on most days when he wasn't filling the void with their consistent need to fight one another.

"Yeah. I'm not finished with going through it, but so far everything I thought I held dear.." her voice wavered, trying to keep the emotions she had held in her past at bay for fear of showing any sign of weakness. Though after everything they had gone through he probably wouldn't have thrown it up in her face if she had, or at least that was something she secretly hoped he wouldn't do. "...is there. That spool just gave me pause."

"I could see that." Of course he could. Had he not stood there long enough. Watching and searching her body's reaction to each item. With the simplest of magic he had laced on every item in the box, he could see every memory rushing to the surface along with her as if they shared one brain. That had been intoxicating, even as he had helped along those memories in the process. Pushing and prodding at them, pulling them to the surface before she could push them away.

"See?" She shifted uncomfortably. "How long have you been here?"

"You've been lost in memory lane for hours." It had been a feeble attempt at not answering her question directly. What good would it do for him to feed her every whim. That wouldn't be very fun, now would it? He moved to sit beside her, the chest now on his lap, having picked up the spool. His eyes on the item as he flipped the spool over and over between his long fingers. A little surge of magic, the light from candles catching the gold with every flip. He willed his true form to fade a moment on his fingertips. He knew he wouldn't allow it to linger for a drawn-out amount of time, just long enough for her to feel something - for her to catch it. Remind her who and what he would always be. Which, to his surprise, never made her any less interested in him.

Regina focused on the movement, drinking in the sight before her. The normal Mr. Gold fingers slowly fading, dark nails pushing forward and flecks of amber painting the fingers below them up, up, up, her eyes settled on the wrist of his suit then she glanced at his face. But nothing happened. Her eyes flicked back to his hands and up at his face, then back to his hands in a flash.

They were normal. As they had always been. Mr. Gold's hands. She reached out, knocking the spool from his hand onto his lap as she gripped his fingers in her own. He seemed calm, no jumping or hissing. Just calm. It made her miss who he had been back when they began this adventure. The imp, her master and teacher. But this side of him had gone through many more things than she thought possible during their time together in her youth. And so had she. They both have loved, lost and loved again. Accepting the darkness and light inside of themselves.

Her eyes darting to his hands and up, had been the exact reaction he had hoped for. And of course, his star pupil never let him down.

"Regina." His eyes found hers, and she looked on in amazement, still stuck on the thought process of how human he was. Now and had been for years. The man she had come to know, the one who taught her everything, the one who had been an enemy and an ally had seemed to have changed. But deep inside, she knew, he was still capable of many dark and devious things. That much she was sure of as much as she was sure she is too.

"This world is an odd thing." she finally said, snapping out of her thoughtful reverie.

Mr. Gold adjusted himself against the settee, their gaze unwavering. She let go, placing her hands on her own lap, and broke the gaze that dared to make her feel strong enough to try something - anything that wasn't very _them_ to do. The memories had done this. Brought up feelings she worked hard to repress.

He could tell that her thoughts were consuming her now and he needed to get this train moving along if he wanted to have enough time to watch as she reveled in one little gift he wanted to give her before it all came tumbling down around them in a loud and earth shattering crash.

Movement, then a beaker placed in her hands. The liquid was blue, shimmering in the flickering candle light. "What is this?" She asked, turning back towards her Master.

"Just drink it."

"If you think-" She began but he cut her off, by shooting her a look of 'really' in her direction. Of course he wouldn't, why would he? If he wanted her harmed in any way - she would have been by now. Deep down she knew that much. Rumpelstiltskin, no matter now cruel - cold - powerful - or relentless he had been - he had never truly hurt her. Well at least not when she didn't want him to.

In one swift motion, she placed the beaker to her lips and allowed the liquid past her lips and down her throat. She half expected it to burn it's way down deep within her but instead what happened sent a chill up her spine. Cold ice trickled down her throat and into her chest then a fire erupted in her stomach, rising from within and up up up - Flashing coursed through her brain, her skin felt electric. Images of moments she hadn't remembered, didn't know existed until now.

_Soft spoken words during lessons, Rumplestiltskin coming up behind her as she danced her fingertips along bottles of ingredients. His fingers touching low on her back only to move down slowly, brushing over the swell of her ass in her riding pants. "Keep going..." And she would, until she found the correct item they were looking for. Then she would be mixing it, trying to get the correct order before... "maybe you need some incentive.." his lips just mere centimeters from his and a soft spoken reply like a whisper on her lips._

_"Please.." Begging for it, because in her heart of hearts she knew she needed it. His touch, the one that ignited her skin and engulfed her flame in an all compassing fire that threatened to burn down the very castle they stood in._

_Her voice sending him into action. Swiftly turning her around, pressing his body against hers as his long fingers dipped beneath the waist of her trousers, finding purchase on the exact spot she wanted him to touch._

_Their mouths open, lips parted as their breathing quickened. His at the reaction of her, feeling how aroused she had become before he even touched her. And hers at his movements, rough fingers against her skin._

The memory faded away like smoke, hushed noises melted into one another as a different image intruded her mind, eyes closing. Lashes heavy against soft cheeks. The fingers of her free hand gripping onto the ruby red pencil skirt that adorned her frame.

_Her bed chamber, dark and ever looming. Soft fingers working as she discovered a part of herself she had never known. Movements stoking a flame she didn't know could burn deep within her belly. Eyes searching the room in a nervous manner as she circled her sensitive bud. Doe-eyed, her mouth fell open at the amber eyes glowing in the darkness where the candles couldn't illuminate. Unwavering, she held his gaze. The flame growing and growing within her body as he didn't move or come closer, just observed her discovering something she never even knew existed until recently. All thanks to him and his anatomy books._

Her tongue snaked out to dance along her lips, plump and achingly hot. "Keep calm..." She heard his voice like a whisper against her skin. Her facial features scrunched up, the intrusion of the memories she had long been rid of taking a slight toll on her frame. "Relax. Don't think, just take them in." And so she did, her mind going blank and taking in a deep breath - her muscles relaxed as much as they could.

_The memory where she had spied on him. Her standing in her castle, near a mirror looking through the ones he held in his home. Trying to locate the imp, coming up empty until one room in particular wasn't covered. But what she saw wasn't what she had expected. Rumplestiltskin sat at a long table in a chair nearest the mirror. Legs parted, back slumped against a chair. One hand clawing at the leather pants he always seemed to wear while the other moved along his length in agonizingly slow pumps before picking up speed seconds later. She watched as his head fell back slightly, lips parting to reveal those darkened sharp teeth. A tongue snaking out to dance along his lips. Sweat began to slick his skin, causing a glisten of gold to shine in the candlelight.  
_

_Regina felt a familiar throb between her legs, hungry eyes on his on his cock as he moved to the hilt and back up to the tip. The pad of his thumb grazing the slit where moisture began to collect before his hand moved back down. The skin tightening with his movements, his cock thickening. Mouth watering, she swallowed down a groan that causing her chest to tremble.  
_

_And this had been where the memory stopped for her before. Him having noticed her and using his hand to flick something over the mirror. Only - this time it didn't stop. This time he locked eyes with her, waving a hand as if to allow him to see through it. "Regina.." his voice; a low hum. She watched as his movements quickened, no longer halting or slowing the rhythm.  
_

_So - she opened her mouth. Red lips wide, bringing two fingers up just inches from her face, she dipped her head and wrapped them around the warm skin. A low moan building in her chest as she tilted her head back up, her eyes watching through the mirror. Amber eyes watching her as she finger fucked her own mouth to the rhythm of his hand movements. Her fingers coming out, slowly, soaked as she darted her tongue along the underside of them then up to her fingertips.._

_Rumple's thumb quickly darting to the tip of his cock to mimic the movement, dipping in the moisture before going back down. Watching as Regina's lips took in her fingers once more and he imagined himself deep within the warm confines of her mouth. How he wanted to feel her suck him dry as he spilled himself down her throat. That beautiful throat. His hips jerked a moment before he regained his composure._

_Regina pulled the fingers from her mouth once more, nibbling at the tip of the digits before cooing in his direction. "You like the warmth of my mouth, don't you?"_

_"Mmmhmm." He answered, breath catching in his throat at the surge of warmth her voice sent down his spine._

_"Mm, I love how you taste." She played with their idea, this fantasy. Knowing it was sending him further over the edge. And she wanted more than anything to be the one to bring him to the brink. "Rumplestiltskin.."_

_"You like that, don't you?" he hissed through clenched teeth, the vulgar sound of his movements echoing off the walls now._

_"Oh, yes." She groaned, bringing her fingers back between her lips, catching up with his movements. Eyes watching him through her heavy lashes. "Mmm.."_

_"On your knees." He instructed as the familiar feeling of being close rocked through his frame, his fever rising with the thought of her warm lips..  
_

_Without hesitating, she got down on her knees in front of the mirror. Sucking at her digits greedily, swaying her hips to feel a slight bit of friction as she settled down her feet beneath her._

_"Remove your fingers and press yourself against the glass."_

_She did as he bid, her fingers played out along the cold surface. Her breath steaming the picture of him just slightly._

_"You want this don't you?"_

_"Mmhmm. I want to taste you so bad. Please..."_

_"You want me to cum for you?"_

_"Yes, cum for me. I want to taste you now."_

_"You'll be a good girl. You won't waste a drop will you? Open your gorgeous mouth. Those red fucking lips.."_

_"Not a damn drop." And as soon as she opened her mouth for him, pressing her lip only slightly against the glass. His hips jerked as he came in waves, hot rivulets of cum spilling from the tip of his cock down his palm and she wanted to lap it up in an instant.  
_

Her body went rigid as she shifted herself where she sat, the memories almost too much for her frame to handle. Heat licking at her skin, prickling at the back of her neck. Lips parting as an attempt to alleviate some of the pressure in her frame. An exhale, the sound itself sending her body temperature rising to an almost unbearable level. Images flashing by too fast for her to truly register, muddled and messy. As if in fast forward, like her mind were trying to reach one ultimate moment.

Movement and then a hand rested at her thigh, her body locking onto the heat as her hips canted forward just slightly before she gathered her strength to settle back against the cushion. Her gaze looking to her left to see sweat collecting at Gold's brow. "Are you steering this thing?" Her voice seemed muffled, as if hearing through water. A beat, then two and he nodded removing his hand from her leg. A whimper rising in her throat as she closed her eyes again, allowing him to bring her to what he wanted her to see and yet she craved that hand back - needed it against her.


	9. Desire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trying to catch up to the chapters I have on FF.net. So I've posted the rest here now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own anything Once Upon A Time related (characters,etc). First chapter notes are for the entire fanfiction. Enjoy the new chapter! The final one is next, so this chapter runs REALLY long at .. over 4k - If I had split it, it wouldn't have been as fun of a read. So here's what Rumple REALLY wanted her to remember. **WARNING:** smut is in this chapter.

_He had tried to stay out of there, had tried to pace the hallway but that look that had been in her eyes when she laid that gaze - that fucking I need to taste you now or the world will burn gaze between his legs. Fuck it all. Fuck the plan, the village, the kings, the queens and every rival that dared speak her name -_

_"Still here?"_

_She looked up at him from her place on the floor near the hearth. She nodded, spent from the magic she had used to teleport them here to his castle. If it were up to her she would have left sooner but her magic wouldn't allow it and she couldn't bring herself to walk out into the hallway for fear of catching his eye again. His words echoing in her ear, reminding her that no matter what she did, she wasn't good enough._

_"Regina. This isn't good for that rage inside of you. Careful, dearie, you're acting like your sister." It slipped out before he could stop it. That annoying Zelena wasn't at all what he wanted to focus on right now._

_"My what?"_

_"Nevermind." Yes, he would no doubt be removing this memory. Every inch of it from that beautiful dark mind of hers._

_"I'm sorry." She stood to her feet, brushing her skirt off before turning to go._

_"No." This mere flicker of a woman she was right before him sent fire into his limbs like nothing else. And even if she couldn't feel it or act on it, he knew she would become something of great use to him one day. She would be powerful and dripping with lust with every word. People would speak her name, tongues laced in quivering fear. But now, right her she was this sniveling, weak piece of temptation. All needy and grasping for reassurance, and - fuck it all - he would give it to her. Over and over and over again._

_The large doors in front of her closed with a loud bang. Her only exit closed off now. What would he do? Remind her of how awful she was, how below him she stood._ __The last thing she wanted to hear was how bad of a student she was or a disappointment._ The room felt smaller somehow, like the walls were closer. And then they were. Rumplestiltskin had come up behind her, whirled her around and against a wall. His scent engulfed her frame and she felt heavy. Inhaling greedily as if she feared it would leave her.  
_

_"You see, dearie. This Regina you keep giving me when you think you've.." he held up a long finger, pointing to the sky as his voice went higher "upset me..." the space between them closed as his frame pushed further against hers, his lips coming as close as they could to her own without touching. "...is upsetting me...this eager...willing...spineless.." he then mocked the next word , hissing in emphasis"princessss"... his tongue snaked out of his mouth as he tasted the skin on her jaw then up her cheek. The spots he always touched on her during lessons, during their first meeting "..is disappointing. And weak." This was meant to rile her, give her some leverage to push back and make him want to worship at her feet._

_She knew it. Knew he would use that word. Anger welled up within her frame, eyes wide now. Her fingers curled into fists at her side. Then she did what she thought she might not ever do. She pushed him off of her. "Take that back." After everything she had done to show him who she was and how good she could be with this magic building inside of her at his every request, that was the last thing she wanted to hear spew from those golden lips. A ball formed in her palm, fire lashing and burning as bright as the flames in the hearth. The pull it took on her body, magic slowly draining at the consistent use of it, caused sweat to collect at her brow.  
_

_The imps eyes glittered for a second, the fire dancing in his amber animalistic orbs. Then a tongue snaked out of his mouth to lick his own lips before she found herself back against the wall, his hand on hers - the smell of burning flesh in the air. The abrupt movement of him had snatched up the time she had needed to keep it from burning her skin, the devil. She let out a hiss but before it could form into a scream of pain, his lips were on hers. Taking her lower lip prisoner as he gave it a playful tug. Tongue pushing past into the wet confines of her mouth. Warmth settled low in her stomach, her legs beginning to tremble at what she had wanted for so long actually commencing. He was kissing her, tasting her. Her head spun._

_Seconds stretch on as his tongue tastes every crevice of her mouth, lashing against her own as if it were in a battle of power. She couldn't remember ever being kissed in such a fervent manner, something that seemed so sinful and filled to the rim with lust. The heat within her body rose as his hands fumbled in her skirts, lifting them up to grip her behind her legs. He guided her up, up, up. She helped by tightening her legs around him, her ankles closing as tightly as they could behind his frame. His mouth claiming her neck, sucking and tasting the sweat on her skin. Leaving behind marks as he knew he could just magic them away when they were done but for now - she was his. He was hers and there was nothing no one in the entire realm could do to stop this hill they were going to fall down._

_Her mouth formed an O, a sigh releasing from her lips. She could feel the circles he moved his tongue in like the motion were amplified, her skin growing ever more sensitive as he began to slowly move his hips against her. Fabric keeping anything from actually happening, but giving her the sweet friction she needed in the perfect spot. Her fingernails dug into his shoulder as he moved his lips to her chest. Untying her chemise with his teeth and then, she heard the fizzle of magic in the air and without a second glance her vest was gone, chemise now moving down her shoulders. Putting her sweat glistening breasts on display to him. To say she felt ashamed, would be an understatement, but once his mouth closed around her right nipple to suck and tease, all shyness flew out of the window. "Oh.." A wave rippled under her skin as chills dotted her arms and the familiar throb began between her trembling legs. Slowly, hesitantly, she began to move her hips with his. It took a moment for their rhythm to match but once it did, Rumpelstiltskin let out a hiss. The building erection in his trousers causing an uncomfortable strain.  
_

_He couldn't think, only move. Having wanted to lash his tongue against her breasts, against her skin, had filled his mind multiple times the last week or more. How long had it been since he had this vixen mewling beneath him? Writhing at his every touch, calling out obscenities as he tasted the fruit between her legs. No, the world didn't deserve such a wondrous witch, enchanting his entire body to respond to hers in ways he could no longer control. The movements of her hips, hitting his at the same pace, rhythmic - music to his ears. He wanted more.  
_

_She held on tighter as he began fumbling with his trousers, trying to free himself she guessed. A curse passing his lips that she couldn't understand with as breathless as he had been. Her fingers clung to his shoulders. This would be cheating on her king, her husband. But why should she care? All she had been good for in that castle had been being a trophy and a babysitter for that bitch Snow White. This was her getting what she needed, for the first time in her life. And her mouth watered at the very thought of what lay behind that leather fabric being brought close to her simmering heat._

_One hand maneuvered himself to her entrance, running the tip of his throbbing cock along the moisture collected on her folds. A hiss escaped his lips once more, finding how wet she was for him already. Although, from his memory, she never really needed much foreplay from him before she began heating up. And in an instant, one swift movement, he buried himself inside of her. The feeling of her tight walls closing around him as she tried to adjust to the feeling of him inside of her - sent his head swimming. This woman would be his undoing. It took everything in him not to fill her up right then and there. She fit him like a glove, as if they had been formed with the other in mind. Her soul, her entire essence sending his body into overdrive.  
_

_Her arms snaked around his neck. His left hand gripping her hip to help her pick up the rhythm with his once again as he edged back and then thrust a little deeper this time, then pulled himself back enough to drive up into her once again, while his right hand closed around her throat. This was new to her, this entire type of experience. The passion, the heat simmering in her stomach, the flames licking at her flesh with every guttural noise that released from Rumplestiltskins lips. She wanted nothing more than for him to devour her, leave her panting and spent against his chest by the end of it._

_Holding back, that was what he was doing currently. The sounds emitting from his lips were more of agony than pleasure, it took everything in him to keep going, to hold back what he truly wanted to do to her frame right then and there, but he would. Soon enough, as long as he held out a little longer. The soft moans that escaped her lips echoed from her throat against his hand, the grip tight but not tight enough yet to keep her from voicing her pleasure to the listening walls of his castle._

_He angled his thrusts so that his pelvic bone would brush against her sensitive nub as he quickened his pace, his thrusts becoming messy and unhinged with hers. "Is this what you wanted?" His voice was a growl, desperate, and animalistic as he leaned against the skin of her neck, the breath from his lips hitting every nerve that rested there. His composure clearly slipping as he tried to let out some steam, building with the frustration he harbored for himself and with her for melting all of their resolve once again for needs of the flesh. But he really did need it. Need her. This small little ounce of bliss that he thought about day in and day out any second he was around her. Anytime he caught her sent on anything in his castle. She was encompassing, her form never leaving his thoughts or actions. Everything he did was pushing him further to creating the woman, the queen she would become. The evil, dripping with revenge, perfect creature.  
_

_Her voice broke as she made an inaudible noise of both pleasure and reassurance and as she did, she felt something expand inside of her, causing her to both jerk and moan in the process._

_At the feeling of her sudden spasm from the scales on his skin flexing, he hissed "I'm not a man, but you knew that before you began this didn't you, dearie? The first time wasn't enough, you just kept wanting and wanting and with those lips, that scent..." And now he would admit it, the one moment he held close to him. That precious memory of taking the one thing no one else would ever be able to again. Her innocence and just as he was doing now, his body enjoyed every fucking second._

_"F-first time?" She asked, the flames in her stomach building, building, a bundle of knots waiting and needing more..._

_"Do you think your night with the king wasn't so painful because he wasn't big enough or that your mother had lied to you about the pain, the blood..." He hated binging Cora up in a moment like this but part of him hoped she knew, knew what he was doing to her daughter. Knew what her daughter's body wanted him to do to it._

_"W-what" A blush crept across her skin, the very thought of him taking her virginity had fueled many nights alone but never had she thought it could actually ever happen. Especially after consummating with the king. But the imp was right. That night there had been a small bit of blood on the sheets but pain had been nowhere in her core. Nothing that had been described to her by many young women including her mother.  
_

_"Shy now?" His voice took a condescending tone, one that sent rage up into her stomach and out of her throat. She dug her nails into the leather jacket on his back, then up to his face, his jaw. But she couldn't break through the skin, no matter how hard she sunk her nails into him._

_He growled in response to her nails finding purchase on his jaw, the act something of the woman she would become in time and that drove him deeper into the lust filled haze that engulfed his brain._

_"Never.." She practically groaned the response. His amber eyes locking with hers, her stomach flipping in the best of ways as her heart rate sky rocketed.  
_

_His teeth gripped her bottom lip bringing crimson to the surface, his hips hitting just the right spot inside of her, his pelvic bone brushing up against the right nerves at just the right moment. Pain mixed with double the pleasure all at the same time and she felt that fire burn her through, waves of pleasure lapping at her skin and brain. His name a whisper on her lips._

_But that wasn't what he needed, he had held back until the remnants of her first orgasm faded away and she came back down to her senses. His movements slowing until the muscles in her soaking core stopped clinching as tightly. His claws dug into the skirt her form adorned, ripping until they met the skin at her hips and he hurled her to the ground next to the fire, her hair played out like a halo above her head with his hand resting gently behind it - having taken the measure of keeping it safe from hitting the floor._

_The tip of his cock hitting roughly against her cervix now, having held back long enough his thrusts became harder, deeper, rougher. He snarled, a growl that radiated from his disheveled form and against her frame - the vibration sending chills along her skin. Each movement sending her body into spasms as she felt sensitive but the base of his cock kept brushing against that same bundle of nerves, so she began gripping at his arms - his shoulders, her legs failing to get a good grip behind his back as the thrusts knocked them away from one another._

_"This. Can't. Keepppp" his tongued rolled as his frame shook a second, regaining his posture and composing his emotions which she imagined he kept in some hidden compartment in his brain - he spat out once again "Happening. You have to stop." The last ended in a growl, a deep guttural noise from within his throat. And in a second, before she could respond his claws were back at her throat, nails digging into the sensitive skin there - bringing blood. "You're weak now. I need you.." He decided to just leave the words there, because he actually needed her more than he wanted to admit. In all senses of the word. In body, mind and... another shiver, a spasm that went straight through him and into the length of his cock inside of her, scales on his chest flaring and then resting again. Now she knew what it was that moved within her. Scales. He was inhuman. A glorious, powerful, deeply disturbed, all knowing-_

_The fire in her stomach roared to life again as she felt her core tighten around him, the muscles in her thighs twitching as she dug the heels of her riding boots into his calves, pressing as hard against him as she could, her hips trying to move to meet his. Soft noises poured from her lips as much as they could with his throat around it, heavy breaths hitting against Rumple's face as he moved closer._

_Undulating her hips as best as she could, the motion feeling like a memory, a flash of heat catching at the back of her eyes as he met with it, grinding slightly slower, he set to grinding up into her in a way that caused her to grip the other hand that rested at her hips. Giving it a squeeze. Her chest felt like it would explode at how good he was making her feel. Ways she never knew a body could. His cock reaching places that sent lights bursting behind her eyes._

_Rumple let go of her hip, shaking off the hand she had placed upon his. Slowly, he brought it up between them just inches from her face. He pushed a finger into her mouth, the skin rough against her tongue as she sucked relentlessly on it, her tongue lashing against the gold flecked skin and moving to the tip of his digit then back down._

_"Yesss" He hissed, his hips picking up their speed again, only this time he worked with hers to mimic the movement._

_His lips sought out the soft skin of her jaw nipping and biting where he could until - until - fire ignited deep within her body, washing over her in waves as she road out another orgasm, her head spinning - the walls of her core tightening around him once more._

_The sounds spewing out of her mouth mixing with pleasure, his name three times "Rumplestiltskin, Rumplestilskin..Rumplestiiltskin.." The last more of a groan mixed with a whine of pure unadulterated pleasure._

_That was all it took, as her core tightened and shuddered around him he plunged to the hilt over and over and over again until he could no longer hold onto it, removing his finger from her mouth he pushed his lips so hard against hers that their teeth rattled, his tongue lunging into her mouth and the good pupil sucked on it with such fervor. He spilled himself, deep into her, his cock throbbing while her muscles milked it for everything it gave. A sound more animalistic than human echoed from deep within his chest._

_He stayed, inside of her as they both came down, his tongue still her prisoner. So he removed his hand from her throat and onto her breasts, sharp nails raking over her soft skin, leaving behind red lines of raised skin on his way towards her stomach and then -_

_"Oh!" she let his tongue go, her body jerking as he touched her sensitive nub, one of her hands flying to his wrist. But he didn't let up, rubbing her until the sensitivity was gone and pleasure surged through her frame. His tongue snaked out for a moment, licking at her nipples and sweat soaked skin._

_He liked this, pushing her towards another one, a third. Going over the edge once was never enough for him, he wanted her completely satiated. He slid two fingers into her soaked core, mixing with her juices and his semen as his thumb continued to pull her towards ecstasy once more. This time, her eyes locked on his and he didn't waver bringing his lips away from her skin and amber orbs to lock onto her. He didn't flinch, didn't' look away because due to the memories he knew but she didn't, this is what she liked. Staring into the glowing hues of the beast as she walked close to the edge of the tower and..._

_he licked his lips then snarled, "Come on, dearie...be a good pupil...the best.."_

_"..you've ever had.." she growled, her fingers quickly moving to his hair to get a grip on the luscious locks, as she leaped right off of the tower and into the depths of her darkest desire - lashing at her insides and her skin. Better than anything..._

_He pulled away from her then - pushing himself off of the floor and to his feet, a cloth materializing in his hands as he wiped his fingers. Animalistic eyes watching her as she laid there, hands at her chest, tongue on her lips, clearly reveling in the senses her body had been put through. This made him warm, all over, heat building inside of his frame. He, too, could feel the remnants of their love making. Their fucking. Their feasting. It had happened again. This ridiculous, willing, sniveling woman had brought him to his knees once more - - daring to jeopardize everything they had worked towards. That simmering rage snuffed out by a release, one he needed not give into but he had. Over and over and over again. And if posed with having to start over - he would have done it all sooner. Brilliance. He felt in awe of her ability to send his mind into a frenzy, send his body into an overheated and overstimulated mess. Inwardly, he praised her.  
_

_Such a beautiful. Succulent woman. A powerful succubus that could bring everyone to their knees. With her dark locks, soft skin, noises that could send any cock in the right direction and hands eager to milk it until shivers of release passed over skin like her whispers against his ear. "Mmm." The vocal appreciation went unnoticed by his pupil, her body still caught in the onslaught of waves washing over that perfect body._

_Rumplestiltkskin did what he always had, even if he hated doing it. Walked over to his table, conjured up a beaker of his potion that he made sure to keep on hand at all times and walked towards her. His eyes washed over the frame below his gaze, her lashes fluttering open to take in her master. Her teacher. Her tongue darted out to taste her kiss swollen lips. She finally composed herself, lashes batting away tears that had welled in her eyes during that final push towards what her body - what his body - always craved. He reached out, gripped her mouth and poured the blue liquid in. "Don't swallow."_

_Like the good student she was, she held the liquid in her mouth as the beaker disappeared in a plume of smoke and he flicked his wrist. Correctly her clothing, back how it had been, clearing her skin of marks and his saliva, his claw marks, the semen that he knew would drip down her leg if he left it there. Quickly, he pressed his lips against hers in a kind of desperation unknown to anyone. The Dark One was never desperate. Never. Not until Regina. And then he broke the kiss, his other hand reached out gripped her neck and lifted her but a few inches from the floor. "Swallow." She did and he let her go, her head just grazed the floor before her muscles took to re-flexing, catching herself, as he disappeared out of the room, leaving her alone there once again._

_Her hand went into her hair, resting at the area that could have - but didn't collide with the floor. What had happened? Her core pulsing, her head throbbing. A blackout? She thought. Possibly. Her hand flew up, flicking her wrist to see if her magic had begun working yet, she tried again. This time it worked. She was sitting at the end of her settee, on the cold floor of the castle she shared with the king._

* * *

Her lips fell open in a wanton manner, the memories flooding her brain with emotions she had no idea she had felt before. He hid them from her and even now, in this second, she knew why. What had happened between them would have changed it all for good and forever. The curse might not have happened the same way, she wouldn't have become this powerful yet softer version of what he had made her into. Everything would be different, completely and entirely. Irreversible.

That little imp knew a thing or two about the future and he must have known how their little encounters could have changed things.

The beaker in her hand felt heavy and hard against her fingertips as she moved it along her palm, trying to let her body adjust to the potion that had given her so many feelings. "My first time?"

"I couldn't let him have you. Not first. Before.." His voice faltered, having to admit something so personal. So intimate. ...Sweet even. It felt foreign in regards to Regina. As foreign as it had felt during the moment they had shared in the past, in her car. Before everything went toes up.

Not all of the memories were there then, she noticed as she tried to probe for others. Her first time, as well as other moments that were black or faded out, hazy. "Where are the others?"

"You're not ready for those."

"How bad..or well...good are they?"

He grimaced, his lips pulling back to reveal his sharp teeth, "I'd rather keep them."

"Do you remember it all?"


	10. Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes: I do not own anything Once Upon A Time related (characters,etc). First chapter notes are for the entire fanfiction. And here we are you guys, finally coming to a close. Thank you to everyone who followed the story the entire way. Thank you for being patient. I hope you all enjoyed it as much as I did. Also, the drink mentioned: us/drinks/classic/mind-eraser/
> 
> And please remember, that I wrote this before the pilot episode of the new season aired and edited slightly only after the few seconds they had in the episode (701). So they are OOC.

"Every second." And that had been the most Gold thing he had said since walking in here. His stance changed, like on guard, as if he had given her one of the most intimate secrets of his life and in a way, he had.

"It could have worked." Before the words even left her lips she knew they were a lie. They weren't that, that intimate, that close, and if they had been, lines would have been blurred. They would have pushed each other in more hurtful ways or more intimate ones. She could already see her other half, the darker side of her heart pointing and prying where it didn't belong. Had she known what they had - she could have flayed Belle alive when that had started in The Enchanted Forest. "I would have-

"killed her." he finished, a protective growl lacing his words. Knowing all too well she wouldn't have just locked her in a tower to keep Belle from him. She would have made her pay for everything. Then again, he wouldn't have sought out Belle if he had given into allowing Regina to love him. He wouldn't have needed that from the maid. He would have had it all along. Only better. Regina wouldn't have hated the monster on the outside and the darkness on the inside.

But now, she knew that they had what they did and that Belle and him were different. That was him pretending to be someone he never would be, or she never would have asked him to be. The coward. No. What she had always wanted had been the monster. Her Monster. Just like she was now and had always been his, his creation. "I could have done way more to you if I had known.."

"Oh, you did." His voice hit a pitch, his eyes on her legs. "You did much more than you remember."

"I could do more now.." Her fingertips brushed along the rich fabric of his trousers, up - up - up. His fingers caught her wrist but too late, she had already made it to where she had been heading, the bulge apparent as she cupped him. The response to her grip was more than enough to make her mouth water. He hardened further, twitched. A purr escaping her chest as she moved her lips as close to his ear as she could, her tone dripping with lust and need. "..Rumpelstiltskin."

He hissed, pressing his head against the back of the settee, the grip he had on her wrist now turning into that of a death grip. This had been why he couldn't stay away, this damned determination to have him - bend him - and fucking hell he _needed_ it.

But this time, he wouldn't give in. Wouldn't satiate her desire, this damn succubus. No matter how much his entire body over heated on the inside for her, for all of her. His hand pulled on her wrist and brought it up, holding it as if it were evidence of betrayal and in some ways, it had been. His betrayal to her, her mind and her body. Depriving her of the memories of their intimate ventures had been hard, difficult even, but it helped him get where he wanted to - exactly what he wanted out of the world and their future. "Not today." He let it fall, between them as if it were nothing. The expression on her face that of the young student he taught years ago. She felt alone again, lost and he knew that.

There wasn't anything he could do to help her. And knowing that tore at something deep inside of him. So he added "We don't have time."

A loud thunderous noise happened outside, shaking her from the moment she knew that Gold and her were sharing. "What's happening?" Her voice broke as a dark cloud began snaking it's way down the vault's stairs, filling the corners like water. It's a sinking ship and she had taken the bait. Who had he gotten to enact the curse this time?

He caught the accusatory glare in her eyes and shook his head. "This isn't my doing." pondering on how much he should reveal, he added "I've felt it building all day, I couldn't have stopped it."

"So instead you chose to give me memories that will be erased anyway?"

"Once we break it-"

 _We._ He used it before he could even give it thought. Truth be told; he had no idea who would break it this time. At least not yet. Sure, he had eyes everywhere keeping tabs on everything. Different stories, different books.

"We could have done so much more if you hadn't let me sit here for as long as I did."

"We've done more than enough."

"No, we haven't."

"Regina..." He spoke softly. A hint of something in his eyes that she couldn't quite place. The back of his hand pressed against her cheek, followed by the other. The first night of meeting him in her bedchamber flashed to mind. _So...ooh!..powerful._

"You bastard." She shot in his direction before the gap between them closed, his hand around her throat, her fingers at the lapel of his jacket and a struggle of power as their lips crashed together. The sound of the curse echoing off the walls. Her tongue snaked into his mouth deepening a kiss full of hatred, self loathing and pure adoration. _Why couldn't this have gone differently, why didn't they have more time, why..._

A low chuckle vibrated from his throat into her frame, the world going dark.

* * *

Hyperion Heights; a small city slowly growing with each new person who settled within it's limits. The rising populace all due to Victoria Belfrey and her success in buying up most of the properties. Including, at least Roni guessed, everyone in town that could help drive her interests through the roof. In fact, the woman herself wanted to meet later today at the bar for whatever reason. Though with her track record, she knew it would include discussions of a contract and a set amount of money for the establishment.

The sound of the door closing and footsteps echoed off of the red brick walls. She turned on the heel of her black boots and glanced up, giving the person who had walked in a warm smile. "I swear I card everyone." The man let out a chuckle in response and took a seat at the bar. "The usual, Weaver?"

Detective Weaver had been in the force for a long time. She couldn't remember the moment he actually had gotten the title, but every time the man walked into a room he always kept to himself, unless his police force friends were around. In which he would lavish them with details that went on for hours. However, he did so - far away from prying ears. Even hers.

He nodded then held his hand up, removing the gun from it's holster to sit in his sight on the bar. "Actually, Roni, I think I'll try the mind eraser today. It's early enough for that, yeah?"

"Whatever you say. Personally I don't drink my coffee without a little liquor to begin with." It was meant as a joke. However, one of the ingredients being Kahlúa which is a coffee-flavored liqueur. The drink itself contains rum, sugar, vanilla bean, and coffee. Mixing that with vodka and soda made for the perfect daytime drink. At least Roni thought so. The banter around the bar continued as she took to mixing the drink, which was the special on the board today. "Catch any bad guys? Or whatnot?"

Another chuckle, his eyes on his hands which he fiddled with, seemingly to her, nervously. He never shared details when he came in to drink at this hour. And Roni, pry as she tried, never got an ounce of anything out of him. No waver of that shield, that wall the man she knew as Weaver put up for everyone around him that wasn't part of his occupation. She sat the drink down, wiping her hand on a cloth that she kept behind the bar, then leaned forward on her elbows. "I wouldn't mix it up. Just drink it as it is, the layers, it's really delicious this way."

"I'll take your word for it." He tipped the glass in her direction and took a generous sip. Then added "Do you have any of that Mr. Black coffee liqueur?"

"I think so." She reached up and grabbed a bottle off of the top shelf, but before she could twist the top off -

"I'll take a bottle to go."

"An entire bottle?"

"Yes." His eyes locked with hers. And although Roni couldn't place it, she felt something tug in her chest, something old and simmering. Like a memory or emotion long forgotten. But she shook it off, as she had done for as long as she could remember, since he walked in the first day.

Shaking it off, she placed the bottle on the counter as he threw a hundred dollar bill down on the surface. She grabbed it and began digging in her pockets for change but he shook his head, adding "Keep it."

"You sure? That's a sweet tip but way overboard."

"Positive."

"Okay..."

"How late will you be open?"

"A beat past midnight."

"I'll be back around then. I..uh.." He pushed himself onto his feet, nudging his now empty glass in her direction and grabbing onto the bottle he had insisted on taking with him. "...will need another one then." Holding it up, he gave her a smile and turned on his heel to leave.

"It'll be on the house!" She called back after him, taking the empty glass in her hand.

* * *

 _That bitch_. Victoria had just left, the bar now empty, with a smug smile on that devious face of hers. Her assumptions had been correct. A contract was brought into the discussion and the price tag attached to it ... something to marvel at. Taking the money and hitting the open road sounded like a blissful idea, but that would mean giving up on the one place she had taken so long to build to help it grow. She gripped the glass in her hands that she had been cleaning, the one Victoria had a drink from, and hurled it to the wall next to the door. At the same time Weaver had walked through. He eyes snapping to the glass shattering just inches from where he stood. "Hope that wasn't for me..."

A chuckle escaped her lips, hand motioning towards the mess. "It wasn't. It's- Well...Nevermind." Something she wouldn't do is pull him into the mess of his mind. "I have your bottle right here." Her hand went to the container on the bar top and then onto a dish cloth. Closing the space between them, she held out the bottle in his direction but instead he grasped onto the cloth in her hand and bent down, gathering the shards of glass on the floor. "You don't have to do that." Getting on his level, she began putting the glass in his open hand that had the cloth draped over it.

"Someone clearly made you upset."

"You think?"

"You don't strike me as the type to just go around breaking glasses randomly."

She shook her head, closing off the cloth and taking it from him. Placing the bottle in his empty hand then standing, turning towards the bar. "Yeah, it's not a habit that I intend on continuing. Just a random..."

"Heat of anger?"

"Yeah, like a flash that just...I couldn't control if I wanted to."

He was behind her now, reaching past her to the bar to sit the bottle down on and then his fingers grazed her shoulder. Her breath caught in her throat at the feeling, she looked forward at the bottles, focusing on the labels. Trying to calm the heart rate that had accelerated in her chest. She wasn't afraid. What she felt was something entirely different. The same emotion that flitted along her skin when her fingers would accidentally graze his while handing him drinks. "Can I get you a glass for that." Her hands went to edge of the bar, not wanting to move for fear of making him forgo whatever it was that made him stand this close to her.

"Roni.."

She turned towards him now, their faces mere inches apart. The back of his hand pressed against her cheek, followed by the other. Her lips parted in confusion and excitement. He had never done anything along these lines, ever let slip any sort of interest in her... until now. Or at least she hadn't caught it. He dipped his head in her direction, hovering for a beat then two... _I'm not pulling away_. She thought, knowing all too well he couldn't read minds. That stuff wasn't possible, this isn't a fantasy world or some land with magic like the stories in her childhood had led her to believe. Agonizingly, he inched closer, his body flush with hers now - his lips light as a feature touched hers before.. Roni reached up, her fingers gaining purchase in his hair pulling his lips hard against hers.

A surge of _something_ spread throughout her body, heat gathering in her stomach, as she pushed her tongue past his lips and searched for answers to his actions in the warmth of his mouth. Since this was something completely out of the blue. Having bantered with him for as long as she could remember, giving way to no emotion other than being a good host.

His hands moved to her back, roaming down to rest just above her ass, pulling her closer as if he could. Wanting nothing more than to push and push until they were one being standing in the middle of this fucked up mess the curse created. Moments like this it had taken from them. From her. The mind he helped mold, the secrets he had spilled, the memories she couldn't get back until this curse is broken. _How long would that take?_ He wondered and settled on the fact that he would enjoy whatever this was, or could be, until then.

_The End._


End file.
